Bear with me as I try to make a point…

Me, at a crazy ass party with Friend-You-Don’t-Care-About #1 and Friend-You-Don’t-Care-About #2

Me, at another crazy ass party with Friend-You-Don’t-Care-About #1, and Friend-You-Don’t-Care-About #2.

Me, at yet another crazy ass party with Friend-You-Couldn’t-Care-Less-About-By-Now #1, and Friend-You-Couldn’t-Care-Less-About-By-Now #2

Look! We have “alkie” and therefore we are hard-core partiers!

Wow! Friend-You-Don’t-Care-About is smoking! He is so gangsta!

This is what it looks like when I see those Xangas where people have uploaded pages worth of pictures that all look the same: party scene with drunk girls and red-faced boys. Then there’s some kind of ghetto ass caption like “Carlita is sooo sexy! Hot mama!” or “We be down wit da in crowd!” or something. The pictures are never without alcohol, lesbianism, and girls striking poses with their guts hanging out.

I am opposed to these sites because (1) I don’t care, and (2) they’re boring as hell. While I am someone who believes in allowing everyone their own creative freedom, putting up pictures of the same old crap is neither creative nor very, how do I say this nicely…modest.

While someone may put up many pictures because they want to share their wonderful experiences with the world, subconsciously I think it’s just a tool people use to show off how “popular” they are. What a wild child this person must be if all they do is frequent clubs and hang out with “hot mamas” and “gangstas.” Wow…don’t we all strive to be more like them?

Umm…no, ho, we don’t. In fact, I prefer to just not read any Xangas at all for fear of running into such “Dumbass Material” that may insult my intelligence. Because there is no way in hell I want to be someone who puts up 1,000 pictures in a shameless and degrading bid for attention.

I do my best to be open-minded…

But then someone has to go and leave their clothes in the drier 45 minutes after the machine has gone off.

You know who you are, you lazy asses. You are doing two loads of laundry in two separate driers. One started 10 minutes ago, and the other one only has 15 minutes left before the timer goes off. Rather than make two trips to get both loads, you decide to wait 35 minutes for the first drier to finish up so you can get both batches at once.

You do this knowing fully that you are leaving your already dried clothes in the drier for an extra 35 minutes as you wait for the undried clothes to catch up.

What happens? People like me, in apartment complexes that provide only one washing room with two washers and two driers, end up waiting 35 more minutes for you to get your clothes out before they can put their wet laundry into the driers you are hogging.

Do you know what happens to wet laundry? It starts to stink. The moisture just gets old and nasty and stinks. So guess what my clothes smell like right now? Like someone made me wait a long ass time before I could use a drier.

Lucky for me the wash room is right next to the garbage bin. Next time this happens I’m just going to start chucking clothes into the trash.

Two Blog Rings to take note of…

Asians with no pride vs. ! ~ aSiAn PrIdE wOrLd WiDe ~ !

Typical “Asians with no pride” member:

• colored hair, “punk” clothing, and pictures of beastiality or their non-Asian boyfriend/girlfriend

Typical entry:

•  a lot of crap about hating life (also known as “goth”—which I call “unnecessary depression.”)

Typical “! ~ aSiAn PrIdE wOrLd WiDe ~ !” member:

• profile picture must be of them striking either a gang sign or posing as an import model (A.K.A. failing to be cool); lots and lots of pictures of the “kick ass” party they went to; shoutouts to people no one else cares about

Typical entry:

• a lot of crap about drinking and partying, punctuated with Asian slang word (dong ma?!?)

I am neither fascinated nor very much impressed by either of these two groups, as I find them to be hopelessly incapable of understanding anything about culture. On the one hand, Asians with no pride devalue their ethnicity and try too hard to not conform to the Asian stereotypes—not realizing that they are only conforming to bad American stereotypes.

On the other hand, Asians with too much pride have taken their ethnic values and morphed them into something that’s more of a bubblegum fad. There is nothing Asian about them anymore—they walk the walk, and talk to the talk…but they have no idea of whether or not it’s their heritage they are proud of, or the Dance Dance Revolution everyone thinks it is.

These blog rings are pathetic excuses people use to try to stand as a separate group within their culture–and it’s pretty freakin’ lame. What does it really matter how much pride or how little of it you have? You’re just Asian…and no matter how much you try to alter that conclusion, you won’t seem any more or any less so to other people.

So those Asian pride/Asian no pride blog rings can kiss my ass—and so can anyone who joins them. Can’t find anything else to make you more unique than everyone else, can you? Go burn yourself with acid—that’ll make you one in a million. Jerks.

We still have a week and a half before Halloween, but Christmas lights and holiday wishes are slowly starting to pop up around here. “Season’s Greetings,” we’re supposed to say…but in my mind I’m thinking, “Wallet Eatings” in relation to all the money I will once again have to dish out.

Christmas is an expensive affair. You try to get gifts that people want, but you also subconsciously feel the need to reach a certain budget. You wouldn’t want to get them a gift that’s too cheap, for fear of devaluing your friendship. But at the same time, expensive gifts that are resourceful are just as wasteful. What a dilemma.

Here’s what I would do…if I really cared about giving gifts that mattered. It’s all about what’s in my closet and what I don’t want. Wrap up the old and it’s almost like new! There…Merry Christmas, friend.

Gift-giving should be a purely emotional event. Don’t buy gifts based on what you think the other person wants or deserves…buy them what you think they’re worth.

For instance…

For the friend who only calls when they need something–give them $2 in quarters, and the priceless advice of calling someone else.

For your friend who has no other friends, give them a Neopet that’s been raised to the point of constantly chirping for attention and tell your pal: “Look what I have to go through with you, jerk!”

For your friend who never pays you back, buy them a package of post-it notes and write “IOU” on ever single one of them.

And as for the people you don’t really care about, just pretend like you never knew they existed. So the cost to you this Christmas: an average of $3 per person!

😀

Ah…Xangas written by retards…

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=baYbEe_ko0LehT

She’s 15 years old, lives in fRiSkO (San Francisco, for you educated “peeps”), is “Pinay”, and can’t spell for sh*t.

An excerpt:

AFTER SKUL- i was wif carymah n claudia…had tuh sign in fo ZACK’s after skul prog now…cuz dis teacher tol us we cant stay der n hung out…

Hold on whilst I vomit…*bleh*

A translation for those of you who can’t read Dumbass:

AFTER SCHOOL- I was with Carymah and Claudia. [We] had to sign in for ZACK’S after school program because this teacher told us [that] we couldn’t stay in there and hang out.

I don’t understand this. Don’t you have to force yourself to type dyslexic-like? Who TRIES to spell badly? This loser bitch does…she’s even gotten too lazy to add the “d” on the world “told.” Its “tol” for her…like I “tol” you so.

And her use of the word “der”…that doesn’t even sound remotely like “there.” At the very least she could have used “dere” or even “dat plaze.”

How the F*CK do blogs like these end up with 72 eprops, and I only get a measley average of 4? OMG…do I really need to resort to dumbing myself down too?

Happy Birthday,

Loretta!

You are officially *20* years old!

Whee!

The overly-sensitive man…

I really don’t know how it happens, but there are some guys out there who are anatomically male, but emotionally female. You’re probably thinking: “Well, they’re most likely gay,” but I sadly have to say that no, some of these men are not.

These men are whiners…complainers…attention seekers who use sensitivity as a way to get some time in the spotlight. These people talk about their friend’s friend’s friend who died…about the sad story in the paper about the abandoned puppies, and somehow link it to a story in their own lives…they don’t dwell in their own sadness without immediately calling up anyone, ANYONE, to talk to…and if something, minute as it may be, sends them up in a flurry, they will travel from person to person, butting into conversations, and inform them that they are uncomfortable about something no one else cares about.

These “men” are losers. Losers to an exponential power. It’s hard enough getting women to quelch their complaints when they have them…but an overly-sensitive man won’t stand to be comforted because once they are, the attention they get will dissipate. So they stay in their state of aggravation, even though it’s starting to aggravate those around them.

It goes without saying that I am not a fan of this type of man. Yes, I would prefer a guy who was sensitive in the sense that he is aware of my feelings and the feelings of others…but I do not want to be around someone who thinks complaining and whining and talking about sad stories will win him pity points.

If you are an overly-sensitive man, please stay away from me. I will just laugh at you and call you derogatory names behind your back.