Chicks who talk about their day get more readers than I do.

Fine…here you go, bitches.

I woke up and sat around with my sister until 9:30. Then I got dressed and we went to Costco. Then after Costco we went back to the apartment to drop off our perishables. Then after that we went to Black Angus. Then after Black Angus I went back to the apartment. Then after that I went to LA. Then after that I went to the gym. Then after that I took a shower. Then after that I watched television.

F*ck you if you found that interesting.

I can’t wait to go to law school so I can go back to hating on people like I used to at USC. Geez…USC was full of weirdos who liked to do weird sh*t. I hope law school is chock full of idiots.

CONGRATULATIONS TO DUR-DUR AND BIRTHING WHALE!

I’m your girl,

You my girl.

We your girls.

Don’t you know that we love you…

Rockstars

est. 2002

Another thing to add to my list of notable knowledge…

Pepto Bismol makes your crap black. And if you don’t brush your teeth after taking the stuff, it makes your tongue black too.

I am appalled that these Xangas people create and try to pass off as a celebrity’s Xanga actually garner followers.

I’m talking about the Jamie Lynn Spears Xanga, the Raven Simone Xanga, the Kristin Kreuk Xanga—all of them. They are pathetic and sad—but people actually believe that they’re the real deal.

Let’s look at an example…Jamie Spears. Her sister is, of course, Britney, and she has her own show on Nickelodeon entitled, “Zoey 101.” As a precursor to teaching girls how to whore themselves, “Zoey 101” is about the trials and tribulations of one of the first girls ever admitted into an all-boys school. Yes, it is a pedophile’s idea of a cock fest with small children.

Anyway, you’ll find the poorly done Xanga here: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=jamieee_spearsss

What I find funny on all of these “celebrity” pages is that the profile picture is something you could find on any fansite: professionally done photo with glam and glitz. Yes, because I also employ hair and make-up professionals to do my profile picture…

(Okay…that’s not true. My profile picture is a beauty shot…but that’s besides the point!)

And why does Jamie Spears have a Xanga when she doesn’t even have her own webpage? And if you’re such a celebrity, why don’t you upgrade to premium? It’s only $25…something you could definitely shell out if you’re on a television show (or ask your sister to.)

And might I also point out that I hardly believe the actual Jamie Spears writes so eloquently and with such good grammar and punctuation. Celebrities are generally not very smart (I’m talking to YOU, CAMERON DIAZ!)…check out the little speeches a bunch of them tried to make on why young people should have voted in the 2004 elections.

In an effort to quelch the rumors that this is just another poser, Miss Spears writes:

TO PROVE TO YOU ALL THAT I AM REALLY JAMIE, I WILL DO THE SAME THING THAT ALEXA VEGA DID. I WILL TAKE A PICTURE OF MYSELF HOLDING UP A PAPER THAT SAYS JAMIEEE_SPEARSSS. I HOPE THAT WILL PROVE TO ALL OF YOU THAT I REALLY AM JAMIE LYNN MARIE SPEARS !

Well guess what! I am really JACKIE CHAN! And to prove that I too am not a poser, I will also hold up a piece of paper!

Yeah…you know you love my Hanes commercials.

I’m no expert but…

I don’t think Tom Cruise has ever done PDA like this before–and especially not when coerced by paparazzi.

Yes, I think their coupling is a sham. I also believe the rumours that it’s one of those shameless bids for attention a celebrity will use to garner buzz for their opening movie.

Plus, that kiss is just heinous. It looks too kissy to the point of being fake.

I am a skeptic. And I don’t even like either of them, so don’t think it’s jealousy.