You’re Asian if you have a bag of dried shitake mushrooms in one of your cupboards.

I need some advice on how you legal students study. I have my outlines all typed and printed (fresh), and I’m ready to read the Giberts, Glannons, FRCP, and U.C.C. stuff—but I can’t concentrate! I just fall asleep every time I crack open the book.

I have a little over two weeks to prepare for finals…GIVE ME SOME GOOD ADVICE [please].

Can men get raped? I am having a hard time understanding this…

And not in the jail sense. I’m talking about women raping men…

This is what I think of a religious-less Christmas…

It’s sort of like how all Asians celebrate Chinese New Year.

You just do it to benefit yourself. You don’t care what it means…you just celebrate it because you get something out of it. That’s the way the world is. People celebrate Christmas, not because they want to share the holiday spirit–they want gifts. They don’t put up a tree or hang stockings knowing that there won’t be anything within their vicinity in the morning, and they don’t call up their friends and family to wish them well because they care—they want to make sure that those friends and family members know they’re on someone’s gift list, and should prepare for hell if they don’t give anything in return.

Religious reasons or not, Christmas has evolved—or perhaps de-evolved–into something much more capitalistic than holy. I don’t see the Nativity scene…I wonder how much it costs. I don’t see the Santas standing outside of Target, wishing everyone well—I see the little change cup in their hands.

I just turned in my paper…hence my bitterness.

But thank you for your insightful comments! I found it extremely interesting to hear from both Christians and non-Christians alike!

Geez…I hate Ashlee Simpson…to the point where I have to waste “valuable” time writing about stupid, disease-infested ass.

I saw the clip of her jumping on a counter at McDonald’s whilst in the middle of a druken, celebrity-induced tirade. She didn’t look much like an iconic figure at the time, and I’m pretty sure the general public who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about who she is couldn’t tell the difference between her and a whore on Sunset Boulevard.

So to remind those around her of who she is, and what higher social status her lip-syncing has bestowed upon her, she started demanding to see the restaurant’s manager, and betting “five million dollars” that she could get him to come out of his office. I suppose that bit about five million dollars was supposed to get everyone’s attention–look at me! Five million dollars is toilet paper, and therefore you should respect me as an artist and a person!

This is what I don’t understand about the venereal disease that is “celebrity.” Sure, you make a ton of money doing very little, and once you have your pictures in a million magazines and half the world’s population is fixated on your every move, you suddenly forget all the trials and tribulations it took for you to get to where you are. Gone is the humility and appreciation for what you worked hard for–all of a sudden it’s “I deserve what I have” rather than “I’m so glad to be here.”

And then you take that fame and five million dollars, and you drink until you forget everything your minister-father taught you about purity–and then launch yourself onto the counter of a fast food restaurant, demanding that your adoring “fans” kiss your feet if they want a picture with you.

Here’s something Ashlee Simpson might want to know: Although you have five million dollars to throw around every time you don’t get your way, may I remind you that you were at a McDonald’s…you know, the place where a homeless man goes to get a cup of coffee. So while you are parading around, thinking you’re that much better than the rest of us because you get paid to “sing” songs at SNL, and make live appearnces on TRL every three months—you still go to the same places everyone else does. Celebrity didn’t get you anything other a boo-fest at the Orange Bowl, and a camera-phone recording of you being an asshole.

Two things I don’t need five million dollars to tell me aren’t worth my time.