I don’t know if I should find this funny or not:

A woman is charged with plotting the real-life abduction of a boyfriend she met through the virtual reality Web site “Second Life.”

Who am I kidding? Hahahahahaha!

But wait! It gets better!

Police said the two met online on Second Life, a social site where people create alter egos. The man broke off the relationship after they met in person.

Let me get this straight: you met a guy while you were both playing a game designed for people who want to live a second life because their first life—i.e., their real life—sucks total ass. And then you two started a relationship in a game designed for people whose real lives suck total ass, and later met in person, outside the world of people whose real lives suck total ass. However, your boyfriend–whose real life sucks so much ass that he had to start a new one by playing a computer game—discovered you were an even bigger loser than he was and dumped you.

If that’s not enough to prove you’re fugly, then I’m a pilot…who flies a 747…made of dried horse sh*t. I’m a Fudge Flyer.

And as for the boyfriend–he must have been dumber than dirt. I mean, what was he expecting from a woman he met on “Second Life” anyway? That she would look like this…?

SecondLifeArticle

Hello! When you go to the “Spaghetti Factory,” you know you’re going to get spaghetti; likewise, when you go to the “Fug Factory,” you know you’re going to get a fug! It would be totally ridiculous to expect otherwise because hot chicks don’t need to troll “Second Life” to get some lovin’…and they also don’t dress like slutty drag queens.

What this dumbass should have expected was to end up meeting a female version of himself–i.e., a pathetic and desperate loser with a vagina. And that’s what he got, right? Too bad she also came with a bag full of crazy.

But let’s be fair: I have never played “Second Life” because I’m too busy trying to succeed in this life, so I admit I have no idea what the rationale is behind devoting any time towards making sure your little avatar maintains a stable job when you are still unemployed and living in your parents’ basement. What does it matter if you eventually save enough “Second Life” money (I bet it’s called “Douche Dollars” or “Crabby Pube Coins”) to buy a private island? Nothing! No one cares! Just like no one cares if you’ve got a reputation there for being the pimp of pimps, or if you’re so rich you’re practically crapping gold nuggets. We want to whore ourselves to the real deal, especially the person who poops gold…now that’s someone I’d let R. Kelly me any day.
 

40 thoughts on “

  1. Oh my.  I am actually a rather pure person and often feel torn as I read your blogs…because I am laughing so hard.  At stuff that I would NEVER write.  Anyway, you are smart, you are funny and you are sometimes…um…vulgar?  Okay, I know it’s different, but sometimes I feel that way about xanga.  Like how cool in real life are the people who are cool on xanga?  And how many people on xanga are the way they are in real life?  I am an introvert and a lot comes out when I write.  It is still me, in fact in someways even more the real me than what people meet in real life…but still, me on xanga is often different than me hanging out with my friends or coworkers.

  2. The important part is to realize it is just a game … even if that your “virtual life” is so much better than your current existence. These games in the end are deterministic, skewed to offer easy rewards for minimal work and there are no consequences for screwing up … you can just start a new “virtual life”.The appealing part is you get to be whoever you want to be .. you might be a loser working a dead-end job somewhere living a quiet desperate existence but in “virtual life”, you can be rich, powerful and respected where there is always a second chance or third or fourth if you screw up.You have to admit that kind of existence have a very strong appeal but alas, reality is nothing like this … I don’t know why this game is called “second life” when it’s nothing like life =/.

  3. This reminds me of my talk about video game addiction to my friends haha 🙂  It’s never good to “escape” from your real life so much.. instead, perhaps you should try to improve the life you have :DWhen I graduate, can I R Kelly you? haha  you’re hilarious Silvia 🙂  Btw my roommate’s name is Silvia too! ^_^

  4. LOL hahahaha so ridiculous!!!!!!!  I can’t believe this…  actually, I can’t believe we live on the same planet as them and we are all called “people”… gosh… 

  5. Erm, from what I’ve read, Douche Dollars can actually be converted to real cash. What the exchange rate is, I don’t know. But anyhow, I didn’t know people still ‘fall in love’ with the people they meet online. Haven’t they read enough news on cases like that? Oh wait, of course they haven’t; they are too busy playing ‘Second Life’.

  6. Amazingly that game has created a few but filthy rich billionares. And yes, last time I checked, they do shit gold nuggets. D:I saw the broadcast of this, the lady looks pretty bad, I guess she’s really lonely and got her heart broken by the 52-year old man with digital six-pixel(ated) avatar abs. I think you are being a little harsh. People like this need some help and I’m sure the woman is in some desperate need of some self esteem.

  7. Second life is crazy.  I saw an episode of CSI where they interfaced with second life…it blew my mind.  However, if your life sucks that bad…they simply should do somehting about it…not just sit there online. 

  8. Hmmm, how quickly we seem to forget….YOU are guilty of this SAME kind of role playing chicanery as well!It wasn’t that long ago when you were posing as a wrinkly raisiny semi continent senior citizen on the virtual world known as xanga. And the along came a poor misguided “soul” who took the bait and went after you…….only to his horror to find a 20 something standing outside his doorway who looks like they fell off the cover of people’s sexiest person magazine! =:-0Then when he rightly gets upset and complains about the bait and switch…….She coldly sicks her ninja kittens on him and laughs mercilessly as they pounce, purr, and tear at him…..Talk about a bag full of crazy!

  9. its like the fools i hung out with where we went to a chinese cuisine restaurant and they ordered fried chicken and expected it to be decent. hello! its called kfc! even the word “chicken” is a part of the name!

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