Okay, so my version of Tony Montana leaves much to be desired—but, lucky for me, I can still be a badass without emulating a character from a movie that is apparently a staple of every rappers’ DVD collection. Indeed, although I’ve amassed a Mount Kilimanjaro-sized pile of lackluster “achievements,” I also have a handful of accomplishments that have made me a bona fide badass. Granted, I am the only one who thinks I’ve rightfully earned this title, but you know what? Chicken butt (oh no I di’int!). You know what else? I watched both the English and Japanese versions of “The Ring” and “The Grudge” and couldn’t sleep without the lights off until I turned 24, so I don’t care that my badass status only exists in my own mind because that is the only thing preventing me from being the lamest person on Earth I’m a badass…and yes, I like to use circular arguments whenever I can’t come up with anything better.
All joking aside, I think everyone has accomplished something that makes them feel pretty badass even though most people consider that “something” terribly mundane. But it’s the fact that you were able to do it that makes it meaningful. For instance, I think of myself as a badass because I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed at once. Not really that exciting…except two of my teeth were impacted–i.e., growing on their sides:
Oh, and I didn’t have the luxury of being knocked out during the procedure. Instead, I went in with nothing more than two shots of novacaine, an MP3 player, and my massive balls of steel. And for 20 minutes, I got to listen to a dentist hammer and saw away four of my teeth–which had not even grown out of my gums yet–because the MP3 player wasn’t loud enough to drown out the noise. And then I drove myself home. See, I ain’t no punk b*tch!
I know getting one’s wisdom teeth removed is something many people have experienced, but I’m still pretty proud of myself for going through it because seriously, I had considered running out of the dentist’s office and just living my life with really jacked-up teeth. I was that scared. But once it was over, I felt like such a badass, with my face all swollen and my mouth stuffed with gauze. Sexy.
So…what have you done that makes you a badass?
absolutangel64 
I also had mine removed without being knocked out (the first time). I had to have mine removed twice though so I think I’m also pretty badass. The first time they said they couldn’t remove the top ones because they were too close to a nerve that could paralyze my face and so they only removed the bottoms. I wasn’t knocked out, though I didn’t drive myself home. But I did go to a party that night (even with my sexy puffy face). Then 5 months later they were all “oh we totally should’ve removed those sooner rather than later because they’ll only get closer to the nerve as time goes on and they could even end up pinching the nerve.” The second time I did get knocked out.
I’m badass because I’ve fisted a camel.
I had all four of mine removed at once, but I was knocked out for it…and all four were impacted, btw
i walked into the jack-in-the-box to buy my food, and did not use the drive-thru. this made me a badass.
Me? I’m a wimp. I wish I could be as BA as you! I was knocked out when they pulled my teeth, and when I recovered I was in no state to drive haha
I too had all four, all impacted, taken out while awake, with nothing but novocaine.I, however, had a mood swing and started crying while still in the doctor’s office, and then was comforted and driven home by my mother. Who I think made me chocolate shakes and chicken soup later.Therefore, I did not earn the badass title in that particular situation. *sigh*
I got all four taken out too. My mom decided it would be 19th birthday present. I don’t even remember how I got home.
Yeh! I also survived the trauma of removing my 2 impacted wisdom teeth and my dentist actually took 10 minutes to find one of them because it was too deep down in the gums. Though I cried afterwards, not because of removing the teeth but because of the fear of wondering what the dentist was doing, alternating between inspecting my gums, looking at the x-rays and shaking his head in disbelief.
Gah! I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out but I was knocked out. You are one brave lady!
I scored the last 15 points of a basketball game for my team in about 2 minutes. We won by 1 point.
I had the hiccups and scared them away. Yeah, I frightened my own hiccups the fuck away.
Ouch! When I got my wisdom teeth removed they gassed me so I was sleeping during the procedure but it hurt sooo much that I frikkin woke up in the middle of it and flinched. Then the doctor goes “Oh sorry” and gives me another shot and I’m out again. I can’t imagine being awake for it, brave! Here have a mini!
I was playing football and blocked somebody into the ground. I landed funny and dislocated my shoulder. Instead of going to the side and sitting the rest of the game out, I went through three plays – with my shoulder still dislocated, mind you – then put it back in myself and finished the game.Different games, I dislocated both pinky fingers and a thumb. I put those back also. Unfortunately, my pinkies are crooked now…
the cats are way too cute
geez, I admire you for not getting the general anesthesia… why though!? I had the same thing done like you and I opted for the “lights out” method. Im not badass like you =p
Marry me. Mostly because I’m physically attracted to your massive balls of steel and puffed up chipmunk face, but also because this post was the shit and the urine.
Wow! That’s all I can say bout ur dental appt. And to the other brave souls who commented. Salut~
i had 4 wisdom teeth taken out at the same time and 2 were impacted too! and no k.o. for me. just laughing gas which didn’t work. then i went home, took a vic, and the next night i was out clubbing with my new chipmunk hotness. lol.
I was in a bar-room brawl once.
i have beaten the shit out of three guys after being stabbed in the back (literally) with a knife right next to my spine. drove myself to emergency.
yeah getting my wisdom teeth out immobilized me for like a couple days… unpleasant stuff… i had a root canal yesterday and it wasn’t painful but it still sucked… they drill down to your nerve endings, pull out the nerves, then take a little file and scrape the canal where the nerves used to be… grossyou always make me laugh. word to your mother.
Stumped the county librarian?
No that was too boring. One time, I ran into a bomb threatened school, did some major ninja skills and took out the agressor, dismantled the bomb, and gave CPR to three kids at once. There that makes me a BA!!!!
I squeezed out a 10lb 10oz baby. Naturally..well naturally with an epidoral. And I didn’t scream or cry.