Behold, the product of a truly genius mind:
(Okay, so it looks more like a mallet than a hammer…but whatever…)
The world would be a much better place if we had Wiggidy-Wack Hammers available for us to use whenever we really need to beat someone down for being wiggidy-wack. A regular hammer just does not cut it because people tend to presume you are committing criminal assault if they see you hammering at someone’s face. But with a Wiggidy-Wack Hammer, everyone will know you’re bludgeoning someone for a good reason.
I came up with this awesomely awesome tool of awesomeness while I was taking the Multistate Professional Responsibility Examination, better known as the MPRE, last Saturday. It was bad enough that I had a freaking test at 9:00 in the morning, but I was also stuck taking it with a wiggidy-wack asshole.
If you have ever taken a standardized test, then this should look familiar to you:
Ah yes, the Scantron form. It’s quite the pain-in-the-ass, isn’t it? Especially if you have a long name and are stuck filling in a bunch of bubbles—what a freaking nightmare. I’ve only got 6 letters in my first name, but filling in a measly 6 ovals has turned out to be a most excruciating experience because of my obsession with staying within the lines.
Anyway, you can pretty much figure out how the Scantron sheet works just by looking at it: you write in your name or whatever information in the blank boxes, and darken the bubble with the corresponding alphabet letter. As for the blank ovals at the top of the column–it doesn’t really take a genius to realize that those are to be filled in if any of the boxes above are left blank. Although the standardized tests I took in the past did not require me to do so, I guess the MPRE wants to stand apart from all the other Scantron-based exams by making their testtakers fill in the blank ovals.
So the main test proctor read us instructions on how to properly fill in those letterless bubbles–causing a few people to mutter or sigh because it didn’t seem necessary to tell us how to do the obvious. We just wanted to hurry and start before anxiety set in. However…
This guy seriously could not figure it out. It was as if he was being asked to conduct open-heart surgery or something. It’s a blank oval for blank boxes! Fill them in with your pencil, dumbass! The longer I watched this guy, the more pissed I became; the more pissed I became, the more I wanted to beat him down.
absolutangel64 
hahaha. if that was an actual product, i’d buy like 10 of them. you’re a freakin’ genuis.
ahahahahahaha awesome! me personally, i’ve always wanted to walk around the mall with a taser…
Very true, friend. I could not have said it better myself.S.C.
“that’s wack””wiggidy wack?””nope, just regular type.”-Teen Girl Squad, on homestarrunner.comYou reminded me of homestar runner. You get a gold star.
FTW
‘wiggidy-wack’…bwahaha, sounds like a creature from Harry Potter.
So where do I order mine???
Wiggidy-wiggidy-wiggidy-whack! Kriss Kross style! Jump! Jump!
I think it wrong to presume that there is anything wrong with his “wiggidy-wack ass.”
Wack that wiggidy wack ass bitch with the Wiggidy Wack Hammer!
hahaha ohhh the ending.. you never let me down *thumbs up*you should make a p.diddy inspired “NO WIGGIDY WACKNESS” t-shirtI have billion dollar ideas.
I absolutely love your illustrations
Hahaha, add a few spikes onto the wiggidy wack hammer!
no need to be pissed — just remember he will be yet another retard for you to score a higher grade on the curve
LOL!i often question how certain students got accepted into my school
Hahaha.
wack wack wack
another awesome post. i hate retards as well.
lololol well done
Lol, someone should make flash animations based on your blogs.
Sign me up! I need one of those like crazy.And surely that guy must have been just procrastinating or something. It’s the same thing we’ve been having to do for every frickin’ scantron for years. It hasn’t changed that much and the general idea is still the same. Its still a friggin circle/oval/rectangle depending on what scantron it is. And yes, you still have to color them in – A very basic concept we learned back in Kindergarten.
hahaha the last picture got me.
yeah it’s true, he’ll make your grade look much higher =)
Ah, the Wiggidy-Wack hammer, closely related to the “Super- V8” when the dense offender is smacked on the head after showing a high degree of cluelessness.RYC- bless you for reading through my entire “Broken Clock” market post. I’m sure it must have been a big sleep inducer for anyone not actively stock trading. =)
@bigpirate64 – I totally thought of that too. …man, is there any way we can make these more portable! I WANT!
wow… I didn’t notice the scroll bar within your comment area… I almost left the page without commenting! haha… Well that’s hilarious. I need one of those… There’s this woman in my art appreciation class who feels the need to speak whenever she thinks something is relevant and its not at all. My teacher doesn’t shut her up either because she’s older then she is… I dunno, I hope I’m not the only one in the class that gets that vibe from her. hahaha.
haha genius…
I have a few people in mind that I would love to test out your product on!
Human whack-a-mole has a certain appeal.
There’s always that one idiot. They should give us little video screens that do a video on how everything’s done, so the idiots can watch the video, and the rest of us can just start the test!
lol. i want one!
Your site is so awesome! =) I’m currently reading all of the entries you wrote before ^^.Ugh, I HATE filling out those scantron bubbles. On my finals last year, I contemplated giving up on the last 20 questions because I couldn’t stand sitting there and filling out bubbles. The test wasn’t the bad part <_<. My question is, how the hell did he get into law school?!?
I AM DONE!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LAST POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND 779 credits. Sweetness!!!
Hehe. Your cartoons are always so cute!
Lol. I love it. And I love your dress – red is a nice color for you. š