by
Tuesday August 30, 2011

Older siblings are usually charged with teaching their younger sisters or brothers the ways of the world–and I should know: I, myself, am an older sister, and had taken on that great responsibility at a very early age.

Being almost 4 years older, I had accumulated a vast library of knowledge by the time my younger sister was born: Oreo cookies are best eaten when they’re soggy; “Sesame Street” is the best show ever; getting a time-out will ruin your life–things everyone must know in order to achieve success.

I also taught my sister important survival skills:

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And kept her updated on the latest news:

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By teaching my sister all that I knew, I was essentially giving her a head start on the competition. So when she entered preschool, she was already at college-level smartness while everyone else was still learning how to read. And when she was awarded all her academic scholarships and landed an amazing job, I knew without a doubt that her successes didn’t come because she worked really hard for many, many years. No, it was all thanks to me.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 12:53 PM
35 Comments

I wish I had a sister like you.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:10 PM by Roadlesstaken

I told my sister that the wind caused by hurricanes would blow all the knives into the air. The blades would fly around and eventually stab us.

Even though she knows better she’s still very afraid of hurricanes.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:13 PM by MangoWOW

funny!  lol @ the time out part. i don’t know why kids are so afraid of that and think it’s the worst punishment ever.  they don’t know how easy they have it.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:21 PM by nhungbear

Bahaha, I love this so much!

I grew up an only child and then my brother was born when I turned 11, so I didn’t really pass on much wisdom… By the time he could talk, I was more concerned with getting OUT of the house as much as possible.
But I now have four kids and my oldest daughter takes her big sister role VERY seriously. Hehehe.
~V

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:26 PM by TheMarriedFreshman

I wanna hear how that pool story ended. Did you drown?

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:26 PM by randaness

haha.  The great tasks we older sisters are charged with.  I know I had a hand in my little brother’s successes.  😉

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:20 PM by ALovingAdversary

teach me your ways!

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:28 PM by cbr600

haha it’s fun being an older sibling, I loved the Jedi Mind Trick where you argue which develops to Nuh Uh, Uh Huh back and forth, then you switch it up on them a minute or two later =)

Posted 8/30/2011 at 6:2 PM by mistermino

You seem like an awesome noona.  My sister was not nearly as cool

Posted 8/30/2011 at 3:27 PM by npr32486

hahaha LOVE this one! (I’m an older sister myself too! hahahah)

Posted 8/30/2011 at 4:51 PM by Novietaaa

I’ve never looked at it this way.  I’ll have to brag to my younger siblings that because me, they’re successful.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 4:6 PM by suefa_lee

obviously, it was all you. 😉

Posted 8/30/2011 at 4:57 PM by bittersweetreflections

Hahaha! I am the oldest of 6 kids and I too have taught my siblings some funny stuff, the hilarious part is when they are young they completely without a doubt believe you, but then they figure it out..

Posted 8/30/2011 at 3:16 PM by brunetteangel03

This made me laugh!!

I made my younger sister who she is today with my teachings.

My older half sister taught me ways too though.  She taught me how to dress like Kris Kross and say “yo yo yo!”

Posted 8/30/2011 at 1:53 PM by AmanduhPie

I have no doubt it was because of you. I think you would be an awesomely cool older sister! Well, I think you’re younger than me. So uh… yeah, I guess that won’t work. Dammit.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 5:15 AM by shoujo

I don’t know why I love this particular entry so much — maybe it’s because of the fact that I am an older sister myself, or the fact that your depiction of such a situation is endearing to me, perhaps it’s even the fact that I never really wished I had a younger sister all my life, until now. I’m not entirely certain, but I know that I appreciate this strip so much. I’m officially a fan.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 5:5 AM by Southeast_Beauty

I never really taught my little brother much about the world. Just this or that. I was going through my own problems and he was so young. We are about 11 years apart in age.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 12:13 AM by Hinase

Drink all the water?  That’s funny! =D

Posted 8/30/2011 at 9:0 PM by christao408

Cute!

Posted 8/30/2011 at 9:5 PM by mtngirlsouth

I’m one of the youngest, but my oldest siblings moved out before I could talk making me the ‘oldest’ in the household.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 6:38 AM by babixling

haha i’ve had the drink all the water tip from my older bro. this made me lol. you are awesome

Posted 8/30/2011 at 11:46 PM by beelievin

my little sister wasn’t keen on the advice i gave her. she was a sneaky one.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 3:59 AM by petitetokio

I was the oldest child. An older sibling surely would have come in handy to clue me in and help me drink all the water in this pool.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 7:5 PM by dirtbubble

Ooo. I’m WAY behind. I should go start imparting my wisdom on my little brother now… Gonna start with why eating after midnight is baaaaad.

Posted 8/30/2011 at 7:2 PM by Prolixity_Split

Older sisters rock.  That’s why my younger sister succeeded in life, too. lol

Posted 8/30/2011 at 8:17 PM by bamsniko22407

I wish I had had a big sister like you!

Posted 8/30/2011 at 9:8 PM by LoBornlytesThoughtPalace

LOL.

I have four younger siblings. I taught them everything they ever needed to know

Posted 8/31/2011 at 12:12 AM by opticalnoise

My brother actually pushed me in to pools…when I didn’t know how to swim.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 12:11 AM by mr_jin_tonic

You my friend have a future in comics

Posted 8/31/2011 at 1:31 AM by Ana444

ha ha ha, OMG every parents nightmare!  I relate to this as an older sister, OH the responsibility!

Posted 8/30/2011 at 8:58 PM by DivaJyoti

I’m surprised you guys didn’t drown.

Sounds like you were a great older sister though.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 5:48 PM by yakko1

awww this is cute! and actually its kinda true

Posted 9/24/2011 at 4:53 PM by viet1_n_only

Man, I wish I had an older sister like you!

I’d be successful as heck right now!

Posted 9/6/2011 at 12:25 AM by lilxwunxnxluv

I’m an only child so I neither received any wisdom nor could I “passed” on knowledge to a sibling.  Although I grew up with many younger cousins (most of them female) — in a way, I could say I had a role once of being the “older sister”.

Posted 8/31/2011 at 11:20 AM by MzKeekz
Freudian unresolved sexual issues with your sister.
Posted 8/31/2011 at 9:59 AM by RulerofMasons

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