Like I said yesterday, I’m going to reveal to you the new love in my life and the reason why I haven’t done much of anything in the past–OMG, 6 months…
Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the newest member of my adorable family:
Scrambles!
Yes, the new love in my life is a cat–that was probably so obvious, right?
That cute, precious kitten that is sucking on my ear is Scrambles, and my sister adopted her for me for my birthday. I’ve always wanted a black cat because they’re usually unwanted or treated terribly because of some stupid ass superstition about black cats being bad luck. That’s so f*cking retarded! The idea that bad luck can be carried around by a domesticated animal that has black fur. If that’s true, then why aren’t those asshats saying the same thing about black dogs, horses, cows, etc.? I mean, crows are totally black, but you don’t see anyone sh*tting themselves whenever ones flies past them. No, people are instead going, “OMG! Crows are, like, so totally smart because they turn garbage into tools!” Prison inmates do that too, you know, so really, if you think about it, it’s way more likely that crows are the souls of inmates reincarnated than it is for a black cat to bring you bad luck by virtue of it being black. Just saying.
Anyway, I really wanted to introduce her way, way earlier, but I hit a huge problem when I tried to draw her Paint form:
And that’s a HUGE problem because she would just be a black, cat-shaped mass hovering in my Paint pictures…which sounds okay, but when you actually see it, it’s creepy as hell…
Some people might not see this as much of a problem. “Just draw Scrambles as a dark grey cat,” right? Problem solved, right? Yeah, I guess I could do that…if I was an average artist with no sense of
integrity. But that sh*t isn’t going to work for me because HELLO! I’m a serious artist who takes her art seriously! And here’s proof!
Oh snap! Which one is the photo and which one is the Paint picture?!
Okay, maybe my drawings don’t accurately reflect reality, but they’re close enough. I mean, Pepper is black, brown and white and Walnut is two shades of grey, so technically my art still imitates life even though I totally ignored their fur patterns because I drew them using those same colors.
Anyway, the point is, my blog is the one place where I can honestly be myself, and drawing Scrambles as a dark grey cat instead of the black cat she really is just felt like a terrible, terrible lie. So I spent the
following months trying to figure out how to draw her, and the best idea I was able to come up with was to draw her as a plate of scrambled eggs instead of a cat:
Does that yellow mass look like scrambled eggs to you? No. It just looks like I half-assed a lion’s head. And since I didn’t really want to explain that the half-assed lion head was actually a plate of scrambled eggs that I drew to represent my new kitten Scrambles because I couldn’t draw a black cat with a face, I tried to make the scrambled egginess more obvious by adding strips of bacon.
That…I don’t even know what that is…I guess if I had to give it a name, it’d be called ROCK BOTTOM.
So now I had a half-assed lion head with bacon strips on it, and it made me so frustrated and despondent that I had to take a break and wouldn’t try again until the following weekend…and this pattern went on for months…just faceless black cats and half-assed lion heads with strips of bacon…And eventually I started wondering if maybe I should just scrap the post all together because this one drawing was taking too long…
But then! Heaven opened up and angels started singing to me and crap and–okay no, it wasn’t that dramatic…One day my sister asked me to send her a picture of Scrambles so she could see how much bigger she’d grown, and that was the moment that changed EVERYTHING.
Look! Do you see what I see? Here…this might be a better angle:
The flash made Scrambles’ fur look dark grey! DARK GREY!!!! MWAHAHAHA! And you know what that means? It means another introduction is in order! Everyone…
absolutangel64 