Sandwiched somewhere in the history of stupid debates no one should be having is whether it’s better for people to shower in the morning or at night–which is just dumb because unless you want to be a disgusting swamp donkey that only showers in the morning and goes to bed covered in the filth you accumulated on your skin throughout the day, you shower at night.
Such basic hygiene should be obvious to 100% of the population, but remarkably, it is not. I knew a guy in college who told me that he only showered in the morning because he believed the human body actually got dirtier during sleep than it does when it’s being active during the day. Yeah, I don’t know how the hell that’s possible either, but this guy claimed he read some scientific study that said a person sheds a ton of skin cells and sweats so much while they’re asleep that they wake up dirtier than they would be after a day of working, classes, using public restrooms, sitting in chairs other people have sat in, being around others who may have colds, etc. I’m not sure what scientific study it was that he read, but I’m pretty sure he found it in the book section of a Whole Foods, and the group being studied was a small population of diseased people who sweat pee and had skin made of sh*t.
I hadn’t met anyone else who was exclusively a morning showerer (read: swamp donkey) other than that guy, so I assumed for years that he was an outlier within the otherwise clean, nighttime-showering population. Fast foward to a few weeks ago in 2018–when most of us were going through a heat wave–and I found that I was actually quite wrong. There is, in fact, another person in this world who only showers in the morning and she works at the bank I go to. And it was during a visit there that I had the misfortune of overhearing a conversation she was having with one of her coworkers:
First of all, let’s give props to the coworker because he was being incredibly nice the whole time when the appropriate reaction would have been to recoil in horror and run for the nearest HAZMAT suit. Secondly, OMG, THIS WOMAN SLEEPS IN HER OWN FILTH BECAUSE HER BED IS SO TAINTED AND NASTY THAT IT’S NO LONGER PRUDENT FOR HER TO TAKE SHOWERS AT NIGHT BEFORE SHE GOES TO SLEEP. And she seriously thought that was just fine because she then went on to explain her sad-ass hygiene habits to her other coworkers, and all of them said there was no way they could could live like that. One of them even went so far as to say, “Oh god, no.”
It’s not up for debate, people: TAKE YOUR FREAKING SHOWERS AT NIGHT.
absolutangel64 
agree with you 110%! love showering at night b/c great way to wind down the day and feel clean when in bed. btw, the drawings are on-point and hilarious!
Guilty as charged- I will not be shamed into taking night showers by the soap police! 🧼
This reminds me of a convo I had with a roommate when I was a camp counselor. He only took night showers and no day showers, where I typically just took day showers. I asked him wouldn’t he feel more clean and refreshed if he started the day with a shower rather than end it. He turned it around and asked how could I sleep feeling unrefreshed. So according to you we’re both dirt devils, one by day and the other by night. 😈
I think two showers a day definitely depends on how much you “exude”. Some people just naturally sweat/perspire and that needs greater maintenance than someone with a low exude factor.
I don’t know of many people who definitely take two showers a day, but if you are part of that group and you don’t have a “high exude” rate, then you are clearly wasting water- shame on you for wasting resources and bringing civilization closer to the brink of oblivion!☠ See, two can play the shame game!