by

Can men get raped? I am having a hard time understanding this…

And not in the jail sense. I’m talking about women raping men…

by

This is what I think of a religious-less Christmas…

It’s sort of like how all Asians celebrate Chinese New Year.

You just do it to benefit yourself. You don’t care what it means…you just celebrate it because you get something out of it. That’s the way the world is. People celebrate Christmas, not because they want to share the holiday spirit–they want gifts. They don’t put up a tree or hang stockings knowing that there won’t be anything within their vicinity in the morning, and they don’t call up their friends and family to wish them well because they care—they want to make sure that those friends and family members know they’re on someone’s gift list, and should prepare for hell if they don’t give anything in return.

Religious reasons or not, Christmas has evolved—or perhaps de-evolved–into something much more capitalistic than holy. I don’t see the Nativity scene…I wonder how much it costs. I don’t see the Santas standing outside of Target, wishing everyone well—I see the little change cup in their hands.

I just turned in my paper…hence my bitterness.

But thank you for your insightful comments! I found it extremely interesting to hear from both Christians and non-Christians alike!

by

Geez…I hate Ashlee Simpson…to the point where I have to waste “valuable” time writing about stupid, disease-infested ass.

I saw the clip of her jumping on a counter at McDonald’s whilst in the middle of a druken, celebrity-induced tirade. She didn’t look much like an iconic figure at the time, and I’m pretty sure the general public who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about who she is couldn’t tell the difference between her and a whore on Sunset Boulevard.

So to remind those around her of who she is, and what higher social status her lip-syncing has bestowed upon her, she started demanding to see the restaurant’s manager, and betting “five million dollars” that she could get him to come out of his office. I suppose that bit about five million dollars was supposed to get everyone’s attention–look at me! Five million dollars is toilet paper, and therefore you should respect me as an artist and a person!

This is what I don’t understand about the venereal disease that is “celebrity.” Sure, you make a ton of money doing very little, and once you have your pictures in a million magazines and half the world’s population is fixated on your every move, you suddenly forget all the trials and tribulations it took for you to get to where you are. Gone is the humility and appreciation for what you worked hard for–all of a sudden it’s “I deserve what I have” rather than “I’m so glad to be here.”

And then you take that fame and five million dollars, and you drink until you forget everything your minister-father taught you about purity–and then launch yourself onto the counter of a fast food restaurant, demanding that your adoring “fans” kiss your feet if they want a picture with you.

Here’s something Ashlee Simpson might want to know: Although you have five million dollars to throw around every time you don’t get your way, may I remind you that you were at a McDonald’s…you know, the place where a homeless man goes to get a cup of coffee. So while you are parading around, thinking you’re that much better than the rest of us because you get paid to “sing” songs at SNL, and make live appearnces on TRL every three months—you still go to the same places everyone else does. Celebrity didn’t get you anything other a boo-fest at the Orange Bowl, and a camera-phone recording of you being an asshole.

Two things I don’t need five million dollars to tell me aren’t worth my time.

by

I sort of lost track of what’s going on in the news because school has inevitably forced me to decrease my consumption of television news programs (but strangely I have found lots of time to watch “Bernie Mac” reruns…hmm). So if possible, can someone please enlighten me on the following:

  1. What’s the big deal behind the CIA leak?
  2. Miers’ nomination
  3. Recent natural disasters (particularly that earthquake everyone’s talking about)

Thanks.

While I’m at it–I received NO COMMENTS on my awesome entry about farting on my cats. By “awesome” I mean “boring,” and by “boring” I mean “you would have been retarded to comment on my entry.”

by

My cats are even more entertaining now that winter has forced them into hibernation, and they must cuddle with me for warmth:

Haha! Because cuddling together doesn’t provide as much warmth as my farts under a blanket.

I’m sure the dutch oven is listed somewhere as animal cruelty.

Also, I found this on someone’s Xanga:

I really really miss may Mumay!

I asked my little sister if she would marry me when I grow up… she said: “NO WAY!”

“Mumay” must be another word for “committing incest and homosexual marriage at the same time.” In that case…I do not miss Mumay at all.

by

For any of you lawyers out there who understand subject matter jurisdiction:

Betty wants to sue two airlines for anti-competitive behavior. However, the federal statute only allows the Department of Justice the right to sue companies who engage in this type of behavior. Betty wants to sue for a state-law cause of action. She does not share citizenship with any of the defendants, and she seeks $1000 in compensatory damages and $100,000 in punitive damages. Does the federal district court in the forum state have subject matter jurisdiction over Betty’s case (note: none of the defendants are citizens of the forum state)?

So far I think I know…

1) Betty has diversity jurisdiction.

2) Betty does not have federal question jurisdiction.

So does Betty have supplemental jurisdiction? How could that happen if only the DOJ has a private right of action under the federal statute?

ARGH! What is this?!?

by

Why does “extraordinary” mean “beyond what is ordinary or usual” when the two words that create it, “extra” and “ordinary” would suggest something that is very, very ordinary? Extra ordinary.

by

I have decided on another new business venture!

I should be a Grammar Specialist for foreign-made products that feature English words. For instance…would this shirt look so much nicer if it had better—EVERYTHING?

 

It should be: The technique to getting stoned is the use of Marijuana! Correct spelling aids in educating the masses about proper drug use!

It should be: For your grand new days. Because no one wants to use a toilet cleaner on a bland day!

Should be: Relive the relief of listening to the Angel’s whisper. The correct spelling really makes you want to go out and eat some chocolate & biscuit, no?

It should be…just the way it is! Who does not love fragrant, favorful nuts?

Check www.engrish.com for more gems.

by

Happy Birthday

LORETTA WANG!!!

You are 21 years old!

I love my sister. We’re as close as sisters can be, and I tell her everything. She always cheers me up when I am sad, and knows what to say and do to make me feel better. I don’t think I would be half as decent a person as I am now without my sister in my life.

by

F*CK XANGA

Those douche bag programmers are giving away the Premium goodies to Classic users for free, making it completely pointless for people like me to shell out $25 a year for features everyone else can now use. They try to make amends for this rip-off scam of theirs by implementing new “features,” such as upgrading our picture accounts to 2 gigs instead of 100 megabytes.  The f*ck do I need 2 gigs of space for? I’ve been here for almost four years, and as Paint-happy as I am, I haven’t come close to using up the original 100 megs of space I recieved when I first became a Premium member.

*Yeah, I know it has a lot to do with my being averse to advertising my life through billions of pictures (because it’s PRETENTIOUS, look it up), and I still stand by my moral of not posting up pictures of myself when I know none of you give a crap about what I do. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR LIFE!*

As clueless as I am about business management (4 years at USC down the drain), I do have some idea about the suicidal downward spiral known as “cannibalism.” Yes, that means eating your own kind, but in the business world it stands for when a company eats away profits from one of its products by pitting another product against it. It’s like your left hand competing with your right hand, and the left hand winning—yes, that’s the best analogy I could come up with.

Anyway, in this case, Xanga is making its Classic account better in hopes of attracting new users, but old users have no incentive to buy Premium accounts when Classic accounts are just as good—come to think of it, the new Classic accounts are actually better than the original Premium accounts were.

The give-and-take from this is more like a straight giveaway: Xanga is giving Premium blog accounts away for free, and in exchange is the losing money it could be making off of us stupid Premiums users, who will inevitably stop paying for our accounts and just stick to Classic. Why not? Classic is the old Premium, and people like me, who still live and die by the old Premium ideology, have no use for the added upgrades of new Premium. We could just save money and enjoy Classic.

Seriously, this is the poorest game plan I have ever seen, minus World Com, Enron, and some other companies I don’t care about. I am never paying for my membership again.


1991 megabytes to go