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The Teen Choice Awards is such a load of crap…

First of all, it was hosted by two people whose past troubles are highly inappropriate for a teenage audience: I’m talking about Paris Hilton’s famous videotaped tyrst, and Nicole Richie’s much publicized heroine addiction. Not to mention the fact that they are hardly primary examples of star power…they are more like travesties to the profession, and insults to human life in general.

Secondly, those stupid ass award categories: Best Hook Up, Movie Sleazebag, Movie You Wouldn’t Want Your Parents To Watch—total bullshit that panders to an audience of dumbasses and wastes of skin. That’s right—I think the pop culture-obsessed youth of today are losers and should have been drowned at birth.

Then there was the fact that Gothika and American Wedding both won awards. Yeah right…what’s that decision based on? The commercials? Because we all know that there is no way in hell a fucking 13 year old made it into the theater.

Other stupid shit awards went to the O.C., Punk’D, One Tree Hill, and a bunch of other shows that should be cancelled had it not been for an audience made up of–you guessed it–losers. Losers with no taste, at that.

The Teen Choice Awards is just a bunch of crap that panders to pop culture and whatever else idiots enjoy. Here’s an award show I’d like to see: What award show sucks the most ass. My vote is for the Teen Choice Awards (obviously), and the beyond-retarded awards show that honors video games. Because that one is just fucking sad.

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Negative comments have made me bitchy…

For lack of better topics, let me explain why I went on this sudden, militant trip on blocking people. If you look on my entry on famous people who hate America, there are three comments. Really though, there are two because I erased one from this fat bitch who wrote something to the effect of:

“Blah blah I am Hitler and what I say is right…where the hell do you get off?”

Apparently she thought I stepped over a certain line when I made the presumption that only people who achieve fame in America can be famous around the world. I stand by my original statement, but I will clarify what I meant to this person because she is obviously dyslexic: I didn’t say only Americans can be famous around the world. I said that even if you are famous in your native country, you aren’t known worldwide unless you are known in the U.S.

And what is the logic to that? Because American companies have the means and finances to market their artists around the world. That is why people in China know who Britney Spears is. That is why Spiderman is one of the top grossing movies of all time. That is why you have a bunch of familiar faces coming out of America because they made movies here.

Zhang Zhi Yi, Penelope Cruz, Antonio Banderas, Jim Carrey, Jet Li, Pamela Anderson, that guy from Will & Grace—they aren’t Americans, yet they became well-known because their work was marketed in the U.S. Some of them were famous in their own countries before this, but did we know them? Do we know any famous foreign stars when we’ve never seen any of their work? Do I expect a Spanish movie distributor to come up with the money to put a film into international movie theaters? No. I expect a foreign movie company to sell its rights to Miramax, Universal, or some other AMERICAN COMPANY. And if it’s a hit AROUND THE WORLD, the actor/actress will achieve WORLDWIDE FAME because of AMERICAN DISTRIBUTION.

So FUCK YOU BITCH. That’s where the hell I get it from…because I fucking thought about it…maybe you should have stopped stuffing your ass with food and done the same thing before leaving a stupid ass comment.

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Ahem…

Let me reiterate this because, once again, I’ve been confronted with another person’s idea of what is “correct” for me to post on my Xanga and what isn’t.

I write about stuff I think is important. 80% of the time it will be about a complaint, and many of these complaints are superficial. For me to have the freedom to judge whatever the hell I want–that comes with my paying for Premium. So, if you have an issue with what I’ve written—well, I don’t really give a shit.

Therefore, if I see any negative comments on my Xanga from people who question the validity of my statements, I will block you. My thinking is: if you really don’t agree, then there is no point in you subscribing to me in the first place. And I’ll make it all the easier for you to unsubscribe by blocking you forever.

Seriously, I don’t need you people to tell me what’s correct thinking and what’s not. Because if I really wondered what it was you wanted to read, then I would have written about stupid gossip shit, or maybe a pathetic list of what I did today.

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Time to go home…

You can’t win when you have a family that’s separated by international boundaries. But, then again, you don’t really lose much either. Besides the lack of constant interaction with relatives, and the impending awkwardness that will always come when you see them after a year or two, the cultural and almost spiritual experience makes the 9+ hour flights worth the time and money.

Not to get mushy or anything.

So I’ve been in Taiwan for exactly two weeks, and it’s time for me to go home. *Sigh a big sigh, I tell you.* Not much to say: ate a lot of good food at all hours of the day, walked around and shopped every day, and hung out with some good people and great family. It’s almost depressing to have to go so soon now…it never feels like it’s been long enough.

I’m completely Asian-ified having been here and walked around like a native–an illiterate native with amnesia. And now that I’m moving into my own place, I’m most likely going to go on this extreme Asian binge and decorate my apartment with psychotic Chinese trinkets (imagine redwood tables and feng shui water fountains, punctuated by cute picture frames and Hello Kitty paraphanelia.) Sick, I tell you, SICK.

I love it here. Seriously. It’s kind of very polluted, and you have a better chance of getting run over by a car than finding a clean public restroom, but that’s okay because everything here is cheap…cheap…CHEAP.

Yay!

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So I went to the dentist today to get my cavity filled. It was a small cavity when I went in 2003, and I wanted to get it taken care of before it got bigger.

The dentist looks at my cavity and then says she needs to “open it up,” which means DRILLING IT OPEN. I was numb when she did it, but she ended up drilling all the way to the nerve and the feeling was sickeningly ticklish. It made me want to throw up.

When she opens it, she notices that the cavity is much deeper than it looks. Basically, my tooth did a comb-over on me. The top showed a small hole, but when you break into my tooth, it’s actually a HUGE hole. And the tooth next to it had the same problem. So she drills that tooth open too.

She fills up both of my gaps, then tells me: “You might need a ROOT CANAL.”

….SUCKS ASS!

Damn my teeth!

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I loathe, more than anything, shitty Xanga entries. By shitty I mean entries that are boring, badly written, and with no punctuation or proper grammar.

Sheer Banality:

 www.xanga.com/lost_local_boi

He’s from Hawaii, and he has a criminal record. He also doesn’t know how to use commas or periods. No sympathy here…it’s bad writing no matter what your background is.

I also despise the “This is me…if you don’t like it, then SCREW YOU” catch phrases people have for their little Xanga descriptions. Yes, nothing more foreboding than someone who gets angry at you for not enjoying the mundane rituals of their daily life. “BACK OFF IF YOU DON’T LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM!” they say, while the rest of us can only sit and think, “No kidding. We’re not going to read this shit because you’re boring.”

What’s up with the song lyrics? Do they have some sort of significance to you? Let’s all be reminded that XANGA IS NOT A RADIO! Perhaps a song has some sort of meaning to the person at the time, a sort of heartfelt message that can only be articulated through the lyrics of a song. You know what that says?

IT MEANS YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING ORIGINAL!

And one more gripe: the AIM conversations are a huge turn-off. No one gives a crap about what you said to your friend about that person with the smelly feet. (1) we don’t know the context of your conversation, and (2) it’s not funny. Posting AIM conversations is no way to garner eprops. What am I going to commend you for? Your “witty” AIM screenname, or your friend’s wonderful use of happy faces? Please…if you want to remember your AIM conversations, just use a log manager.

 

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Xanga Stalking…

How does that work anyway? Aren’t you just gathering bits and pieces of information on a person’s life through their entries? Where does the stalking part come in on a venue that’s made for people to publicize the details of their daily routine?

Oh! It’s because they made the mistake of talking about where they live, where they go to school, where they’ll be in the future, etc.

Rule #1 (and I live by this one): never disclose the details of your whereabouts. Ever. If you notice on this site, you won’t find something like: Today I’m going to the Staples Center! It will most likely be more similar to: Today I went to the Staples Center. Past tense = you’re not there anymore, but you were.

The stupid part of Xanga Stalking is that it’s the writer who puts himself/herself in the position of being stalked. The excitement of writing mundane details makes a writer think that it’s okay to talk about everything. But really, isn’t not: (1) it’s boring, and (2) there are crazies out there who might assume that because they know a lot about you, it means they personally know you.

Discretion is a valuable tool for online journals.

I don’t know why I’m writing about this. I just found it to be oddly intruiguing.

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I’m starting to dislike my Xanga username and my AIM screenname. Once thought to be original, I found out from a friend that it’s actually a very typical Asian username.

Insert crushing blow to the ego here:

I have inadvertently placed myself on the Asian bandwagon.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really love being Asian—but my pride doesn’t have an external extension. It’s just my mentality, expressed only through words or the things I purchase and sometimes put in awkward places like my cell phone.

Asians, we like to identity ourselves in certain ways. And the world is made up of a lot of us, therefore our attempts at being creative are actually just imitations of someone else…multiply that 1 billion and you get the idea: we’re typically typical.

It was the “Angel” part of my username that kind of put me in that position. Blasted…and here I was thinking I could try to infuse my SN with irony because, with all the hate in me, I’m hardly angelic. Then again, I’m not devilish and I don’t wear very much red.

I should have gone with something race-neutral, like “Water Bottle” or “Eggstraodinary”.

All complaints aside, here are some typical characteristics of Asian usernames (apologies to those who are affected…well, only to those of you I know and like):

1. Baby: or Babee/Babie/other badly spelled variations.

2. Asian: or Azn, Asn/other badly spelled variations.

3. Racial identity: Chinagurl, JapBoy, etc.

4. Gender Identity: Girl/gurl or Boy/Boi and other badly spelled variations.

5. Astrological/Cosmic words: Stars, Moons, Angels (ughh!!), astrological signs

6. Brand Names: PradaLuva or BMWMan, etc.

7. Area codes: 626Booger or 714shopaholic, etc.

8. Anime names: KrazeeKenshin or SakuraSucka, etc

9. Lil: As in “Little”. LilShininStar…LilSnackPack…

Note: I made these usernames up, but if you happen to have one of these names—I guess your choice wasn’t original.