absolutangel64

A glimpse into my distant past…

Horsey was not a nice girl. She was obsessed with her skinny, unattractive, baggy-pants-wearing-fake-Asian-gangsta-wannabe boyfriend, so she used to treat his female friends with absolute disrespect and loathing. Sometimes it would just be a simple scowl whenever girls were around, but other times her jealousy would cause her to act out in violent trantrums. It was very annoying, especially since this girl was a year younger than us.

In my senior year I had a confrontation with Horsey in the school parking lot. I had just finished graduation practice and was heading back home at around noon. As I was driving out of the lot, towards the street, this blue PINTO or something speeds up next to me and cuts me off. I recognize the car as being Horsey’s, and it’s apparent that she’s cutting class to hang out with her icky boyfriend that I was barely aquaintences with. Her rude driving habits MADE ME WANT TO THROW MACHETES AT HER FACE…and the incidence became burned inside my memory.

The next morning I had graduation practice again. The way our parking lot was structure made it so that kids coming from the west side of the island had to merge into a lane with the kids coming from the east side. As driving etiquette goes, one car per lane takes turn merging in…that’s just how you do things, right? NOT IF YOU’RE HORSEY! I’m pulled into the merge lane with no one coming in from the East-Kids’ lane, and right as I was speeding up this damned blue PINTO sped up and CUT ME OFF AGAIN, nearly SCRAPING MY CAR. I was so mad now…very, very mad. It’s one thing to cut me off once, but to do it again out of spite is enough. Three strikes you’re out, my ass…this bitch is going down.

I waited…I waited about 3 days after my graduation ceremony before I enacted my revenge. After seniors leave school, the underclassmen have about 2 more weeks of the year before their vacation starts. Poor things…I took advantage of this two week period and drove up to the school an hour before the ending bell rang. No one was in the parking lot, so it was easy for me to find Horsey’s ugly pinto. And WHAT LUCK! There was an empty space next to it! I parked beside her car and what I did next can be summed up in a song…

ME CHINESE, ME PLAY JOKE, ME DRIVE TO SCHOOL BEFORE YOU GET OUT OF CLASS AND KEY YOUR CAR UP!

Stupid bitch. You got what you deserved. I was thinking of putting an orange or a potato down her exhaust pipe, but why waste good food? Nonchalantly, I drove away right after. A few months later, I was on my way to the greener pastures of USC…and she is most likely still here, working at McDonald’s.

85 days until the LSAT