The Term “Walk Your Bike” Has Never Applied To Me
My name is Sylvia, I’m 21 years old, and I don’t know how to ride a bike.
……..There I said it! I just couldn’t take it anymore! All you people who thought I walked to my classes because I was healthy or because I wasn’t lazy…you all made me feel so guilty with all your compliments and admiration. But little do you know! Oh so little do you all know! I was a prisoner to my own disability! Always having to leave my apartment 20 minutes before my class would start, and speed-walking across campus. Or dreading the days where I had to wear a business suit to class, and knowing that I would be crushing my toes in my boots as I trudged down to Hoffman or the accounting building. And I couldn’t wear anything but sneakers or my slippers because anything else would just tear my feet to shreds. How I longed to be 5’8″ instead of 5’5″ sometimes! It would have made staring people down so much easier!
Some people say that it’s kind of funny that I can drive a car but can’t ride a bike. Well haha! FOOLED YOU THERE DIDN’T I?!? Because guess what…!
6th Time’s The Charm
The average person I’ve talked to got their license after their 1st try. If it’s not the first, then it’s the second. To be in either of those groups would make you a conformist. Lucky for me, I am unique in my own group of individuals who didn’t pass their driving test on the first or second time…or the third…or the fourth…or the fifth…
My name is Sylvia, I am 21 years old, and I had to take the driving test 6 times before I got my license.
*brief pause for laughter*
Okay fine! So I may have parked too far from the curb, and forgot to pull my emergency break and turn my wheels towards the sidewalk. But who does that anyway? And yeah, I don’t usually turn my head when I switch lanes because I think everyone should be looking out for ME and not the other way around. I think for my benefit we should consider the pertinent facts: the same guy failed me three times and he was already expected me to fail (therefore, biased opinion!), one tester was having PMS symptoms, and another guy was just too lazy to let me drive the whole block. I think all those reasons show without a doubt that I was unfairly graded and rejected.
I am a safe driver, I swear! I’ve only driven on the divider twice!
Bad Pick Up Lines
Saw a commercial for a new show that MTV is producing called Busted or whatever. It’s supposed to be about girls who expose these guys to be losers or something. Anyway, this is one of the pick-up lines a man tried to use on a girl…
Are your parents retarded? Because you seem like you’re a special girl.
What an amazingly sad-ass line! I literally sat there for a few seconds, trying to absorb the depth of crap this man was probably swimming in, and I just started to laugh…and laugh…and laugh…
Stuff That I Feel Like Jabbering About
I went to the dentist’s on Tuesday and the X-rays showed the my bottom two wisdom teeth are GROWING PERPENDICULAR TO MY OTHER TEETH! That means that I am screwed, and have to get them removed before school starts because if the messed up teeth grow out, they could potentially cause the teeth around them to rot. This is what I think my evil wisdom teeth look like:
Bastard teeth!!! ARGH~!!! MY dentist has referred me to a specialist, and I’m hoping that this guy has some hard-core drugs that’ll knock me out…so around the end of July, I will have four stitches on my gums, and a mouth full of misery.
79 days until the LSAT
absolutangel64 
LMFAO I couldn’t stop laughing while reading this! You’re great!
Ha ha. You’re full of surprises. As for your wisdom teeth pulling, at least you probably won’t wake up in the middle of surgery after being gassed. I’m suing that doctor after I pass the bar.
awww, never too late to learn to ride a bike… or you can start with a motorcycle and skip the bicycle all together!
Can you ride a bike now though?
@Digital_K_OS – No…still can’t. I’m 26 years old and I can’t ride a bike. Or arm pit fart. Two things every human being needs to know in order to survive.
@absolutangel64 – Weird I always thought walking and chewing gum at the same time is the quantitative measure of survival fitness. You do ride the exercise bike at the gym right ?? It’s not too different … you have two wheels (sort of) … there is a seat and pedals … except it’s stationary … and there is no chance of you falling off from balancing issues …. and no brakes .. and … maybe it is completely different.
I didn’t pass my driving test until the second time round either. I had heaps of driving lessons inbetween though. Like twenty or thirty professional ones. Thats bad. Do you own a bike or have one you could learn on?