I’m on a mission to get my Xanga onto the “Featured Content” module on the Xanga front page. Just to get an idea of what kind of special essence a Xangan needs to be featurned on this illustrious module, I have sampled some of the blogs that are currently worthy enough of being shown.
Umm…this Xanga totally sucks. It’s written by some child in New York (although I think he’s really in Arcadia and doesn’t know it because he’s stupid), and I seriouly have no idea what the hell he wrote that garnered him 168 “gansta propz” and 105 “boricua letterzs.” By the way, that “letterzs” is bad spelling…spelled badly. Bad enough he decided to replace the s in “letters” with a “z” because I suppose pretending to be an idiot who can’t spell is hip and with-it with the kids. But to add another “s” to “letterz”…? No comment.
This site doesn’t exist…so why is it featured on “Featured Content” when it doesn’t have, you know, content. Maybe the web masters are just using this girl’s site as an example of what happens to Xangas that suck ass and are boring.
This dude wrote an entire entry about HOW OFTEN HE HAD TO CHANGE HIS CLOTHES. And wait! That’s not the best part! He even learned how to tie a tie! Amazing! Best entry I have ever read! 41 dumbasses left him a comment.
This is a site by a girl who really thinks she’s pretty but isn’t. She has lots of pictures of her ugly ass self up, and her entries are full of these little, memorable gems such as:
just came believe people been break`ing up … and it look like there love is soo damn strong.. *shakes head* 
i guess u just never know wats going to happpen.. welps.. as long me and my hubby still together.. all dat matter`s
… hehe
Really? That’s all “dat matter’s,” huh? As opposed to being able to spell properly and use correct punctuation. And I, too, “just came believe people been break’ing up.” Isn’t it tragic? Wish people would stop “cameing” when their “love is soo damn strong.” (The f*ck does a 14 year old know about love anyway? It’s not love if he doesn’t have money.)
I am totally enlightened! In order for me to be featured on “Featured Content” I need to be really boring, have an ugly Xanga filled with pictures of myself, and write about b.s. that no one cares about, but comment on anyway because they’re comment whores fishing for props back. If only I had known!
absolutangel64 
lol hahahah.. ur entry is always so damn hilarious! haha..
You’re almost spiteful enough to get featured. Keep working at it.
Hahaha, letterzs! Are we meeting thizs weekend? I hope szo.
Loretta’s expensive blunder of the week: Last night I was trying to pass the time until a TV show I wanted to watch was on by playing around on ebay. So I notice this thing called “live auctions” and I’m really curious as to what those are like. So I sign up for one. It happens to be for a piece of jewelry. I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m pressing buttons for fun, right and left clicking my heart out, and in my fooling around, I win a stupid emerald ring. It costs me $63. I hate myself!!!
*drum roll*
A F-14 lands on the USS Enterprise with all hands on deck saluting …
You step out of the jet fighter with a HUGE banner behind you with the words “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED”
The Marine band starts up Hail to the Chief as you step to the podium to make your speech.
Looks like you made the featured content with the valentine deathmatch post … should I break out the champagne? =D.