absolutangel64

Massage loving Businessman looking for one or two massage specialists who will also work as drivers/personal assistants. Must own car and have flexible schedule. Should have knowledge of deep tissue, shiatsu and 4-hand massage techniques. Attractive females between 21-45 only. Please be creative in letting me know what you can do. Pic good but not required.

This is an actual ad on Craigs List–and I’m pretty sure there is a double entendre to the term “personal assistant” (i.e. personal whore). But I have to give him some credit: I wouldn’t have been quite as obvious about my desire to hire a call girl as this guy; I probably would have gone with the safer route and said something like, “Roman Catholic Priest seeks young, supple male between the ages of 8 and 12 to light candles and sing some songs.” That doesn’t insinuate anything.

And what does he mean by “be creative in letting me know what you can do”? Or, I guess the better way to phrase it–what doesn’t he mean? My first guess is that he doesn’t want resumes as much as he wants a hands-on tutorial…but that’s just me. For all I know, he could actually be requesting the applicant to beat him with a rubber hose and have him call her “mommy”. You dirty, dirty businessman.

Anyway, I’m taking online traffic school right now—sort of. WebTrafficSchool.com has this ridiculous system of requiring students to wait 7.5 minutes before continuing on to the next page. I tried to hit continue after I read the [boring] information, but this message came up, scolding me for not reading the page carefully. 7.5 minutes is a long time to read this garbage…now I’m forced to spend the rest of the time looking at weird Craigs List ads and making fun of them.