My last entry was in November? How long ago was that? What is today’s date? The 12th?! I think this is a new record for the longest time I’ve been away from my Xanga–which is nothing to be proud of.
Sometime during my 12-day break from blogging I studied for two finals, took them last week, and then celebrated my freedom by sleeping a lot and playing many, many hours of Final Fantasy 12. I admit that my way of kicking off Winter Break might not sound very exciting because it doesn’t involve any alcohol or drugs–but I’m not so easily bored that I have to resort to such methods of entertainment.
Anyway, my “busy” schedule means I’ve got nothing to complain about nowadays. But I feel pretty bad for neglecting my Xanga, so I’ll just use the rest of my energy to answer a question:
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
Nice guys finish last because, surprise, they’re not nice. They’re actually egotistical, inconsiderate jerks who have a mistaken perception of their “niceness” because they have a warped idea of what it takes to be a truly nice guy.
A”real” nice guy is a sophisticated gentleman who is well-learned in all the rules of good social behavior–you won’t find him cheering on the side as two straight girls kiss each other just to get attention, he is never labeled as someone his friends cannot lean on for support, he knows how to use foresight to measure the different possible outcomes of his actions and thus will avoid doing things that can end up hurting others, etc. A “real” nice guy gets noticed for his goodness and probably never finishes last–but he wouldn’t know if he was in first or last place since he is being generous for the sake of helping those who need him.
The “fake” nice guy does not have any of those aforementioned characteristics. He’s just a guy trying to do things to get a benefit in return–and his motives are obvious. Thus, when he tries to do nice things for others, people around him realize right away that he’s just being fake and will instead turn that against him by taking advantage of the favors he offers while never giving him anything back in return. Thus, the “fake” nice guy always finishes last.
absolutangel64 
Oooh! Final Fantasy 12! I heard it was really good. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to play it yet.
Well, that’s a sad thought. You don’t always need alcohol or drugs to have fun…
It seems that those who turn against the “fake nice guy” aren’t nice at all themselves. Furthermore, there are many who are truly nice – “real nice guys” – who, like the fakers, are also taken advantage of, but for an entirely different reason: Low self-esteem/confidence. By attempting to win the favor of others by trying to fit in, they mimic the “fake nice guys” in that they show their niceness for a specific purpose (fitting in with a group of people). Given the ulterior motive, this fits the criteria you’ve posted for the “fake nice guy”, but this doesn’t necessarily entail that such a person is indeed a fake. By analogy, you can’t label someone who talks to himself as a schizophrenic. IMHO, while the guys with low self-confidence can show their true colors in a more comfortable setting (and with more self-confidence!), true fakers will almost always display their generosity while harboring an ulterior motive.
I think your description of the “true nice guy” is a great one, Sylvia. And I hope that, if you don’t already have one, that you find one soon. Take care! ; )
-Jas
Interesting analysis. Fake nice guys tend to pay for big tabs for a group of people when he probably wouldn’t do if there was nobody around to see it. But I think its hard for a female to analyze this because you probably run into a lot of fakes out there. Being a girl they obviously have an ulterior motive from the get go. So its hard to see if what they are doing is by their true nature. Next time you want to know if he’s a fake or for real ask me. holla back.
Fake nice guys are easy to tell because they are oh so anxious to be repaid for their kindness and generosity. They’ll do something for you and then almost immediately expect you do something “equivalent or greater” in return. They all have this mental balance in their head for every person they meet and man do they want that balance to be BALANCED all the time.
I have met such people in my life; my way is simply to not owe this type of people anything and avoid them whenever possible. Being nice is not a race with a prize at the finish line nor is it a scrupulous accounting of favors given and received … it’s something more than that and some people just don’t get it.
I don’t know if I am considered “nice ” or not, I would like to think so but regardless, I can’t change who I am and I am a horrible liar.