Some guy in the Netherlands believes that in the near future robots will become so lifelike that humans may end up falling in love and marrying them. I don’t find that to be a very attractive forecast, but not because of the unnaturalness of robot love. I’m more turned off by the human that would have to resort to artificial intelligence for affection: the online-video game obsessed, socially-inept, Jabba-the-Huts who know everything there is to know about elves and orcs but couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag. Mr. Netherlands knows what I’m talking about; he even said that those “who find it hard to form relationships, because they are extremely shy, or have psychological problems, or are just plain ugly or have unpleasant personalities,” would benefit most from getting down with a robot.
I’m not taking this guy’s prediction seriously, but if we were ever capable of creating such realistic robots that people wouldn’t look like sexual deviants if they were seen in public with their robot-lover, I’d still have to pass on it. Sure, I could buy a robot boyfriend who was extremely hot and program him so that we’d have the same interests, beliefs, level of intelligence, etc., but I don’t find any of that appealing at all. It just sounds boring. And although I prefer people to support me when I say that I am so perfect that I poop gems and my farts can cure diseases–I appreciate it when someone tells me to my face that he disagrees with me and why. And if he can actually convince me that I’m wrong and put me in my place then he’s automatically way more attractive than some robot. Having an opposing point of view every now and then can be quite beneficial–but don’t try to convince me that the key to world peace isn’t a McDonald’s Happy Meal because I’ll just cut you.
Besides, women don’t want to have to ask for compliments–we want men to say things because they mean it. Can you imagine the dialogue in a robot-woman relationship?
ROBOT MAN: I love you.
HUMAN WOMAN: No, you don’t. You’re just saying that because I programmed you to. You don’t love me at all!
ROBOT MAN: Yes, I do. And you don’t look fat in those jeans.
HUMAN WOMAN: Liar!
And then the robot self-destructs because that’s what it was programmed to do when the human woman decides to end the relationship.
More downsides to robot-human love:
1. Whatever gift your robot gives you will probably have been purchased using your money–because your robot doesn’t have a job (working is reserved for labor robots).
2. People who program their robots to compliment them will eventually stop caring about their hygiene and appearance because their robot lovers have turned into their robot enablers by consistently telling their human “you are sexy” when it should be saying “you are a sow.”
3. Ever seen “The Matrix”? Robots want to look like octopi, not humans, and are going to punish us by throwing us all into pods of goo. What’s worse is that the savior is going to turn out to be some loser like Keanu Reeves. Hell to the no.
The only robot I would want around me is a slave robot. Yes, I would want an entourage of attractive, male robots who do nothing but cook and clean and whatever else slaves should do. And they should also have weapon-limbs so that they can protect me…oh, and also sneeze candy. Now that would be a kick a** robot.
absolutangel64 
LOL, I would pass on the whole robot-lover deal too..
you should write more often — i like reading ur shit.but, i’m all for the robot lover. unfortunately, i think i was born one generation too early. man, robots — so ur telling me i can get a hot woman who will not bitch, moan, whine, and be all high-maintenance on my ass AND i get to sleep with her and contract no STDs??!? SIGN ME UP!!!
Great post… 🙂
I think it would be creepy having a robot lover. Ugh.
eek i totally agree with you. what the heck is attractive about that? i’d take a man over a robot anyday. but for some reason i think that men don’t share the same viewpoint…
lol – amazing. Your robot to woman to robot dialogue was very entertaining. I wouldn’t mind a robot butler…although an entourage of robot slaves/guards would be neat too.
Random props
lol.. Your fantasy really is something.. lol..
It’s like saying, I want to drive, but I don’t want a automobile.. lol..
On a deeper note, usually when you find your soul-mate, everything you’ve ever wanted emotional wise, will come true!
Narcissism fused with technology. It’s gonna happen. JMO
Mwuah ha ha ha!!”Hell to the no.”
I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t happen because how many things have people said would never happen, about things with technology, and it did. I just see it becoming a problem. But… we do have blow up dolls to pass the time for now. lol. Fight for robot’s rights!! ha ha. Yeah, you know you will hear that one if it ever happens. I’ve actually been joking about this ever since I heard it.
Yea, I heard that on the news and thought, “what has this world come to?” lol. Interesting, but a bit scary. Terminator was one of the scariest movies that I have ever seen. I think our own creations can destroy us when they turn TOO smart. And not only that, If you have to marry yourself a robot, all I gotta say, you’re a desperately hopeless romantic, have too much money to waste, and you’re not realistic.
All i gotta say is…ain’t no robot gonna handle all the complexities of a woman. Like you said, it will self-destruct.Hahaha… a very interesting post~~
lol, this post is ridiculous! It’s outrageous and stupid.
I fregin’ loved it. Good work.
LOL. Maybe I am not that open-minded, but I think I’d rather be alone than with a robot. I read this article about the same thing – how it will be common. WTF? No thanks. Sorta creepy – reminds me of that movie I, Robot. They’ll take over, decide they only want to date/marry other robots and start killing us off. lol.
This was very entertaining. A human relationship can not and will not Ever satisfy all of a person’s deepest needs, no matter how wonderful the relationship is. However, a robot is a robot, a pile of metal, and I’ll take my amazing man (with his faults) over that any day.
My current blog is the news article about this. I found it so hilarious!
Maybe it’s a hard for some Dutch guy to grasp but the Japanese, after generations of watching anime robot porn, will find having a robot lover perfectly normal. They will be happy that these robots aren’t 30 stories tall and have killer death rays and penchant for smashing highrises.
I agree!
have you watched A.I.? its a pretty good movie.. you never know.. with our technology now.. probabaly not.. but sometimes in the future.. pretty sure they will have something… The project is already underway in japan (http://youtube.com/watch?v=091ugdiojEM&mode=related&search=) Why would you want attractive robot slaves anyways.. its not like you can do anything or want to do anything with them.. just for eye candy? would you be jealous if your bf had a hot robot slave girl for the same reason?? after all its just a robot.. But imagine that they really did make these robots that can do everything… what would they need us for..
Chobits. That anime is an animated version of this post.Watch out!!!! Its reality coming to your door soon.
What “cognoscere9” said heheh… check it out on youtube, it’s really disturbing, lol. Hilarious post, btw. I agree with most of it, mostly just because I don’t wanna be “saved” by Keanu Reeves. The prospect of a resulting cult of Reevists, all worshipping “The One” as they chant “whoa”in a thundering monotonous drivel scares the poo/gems out of me.
This was hilarious!
Hahahha….robot lovers sound so kinky. It might be good for erm……practice…lolx. Very interesting post. Keep up the good work! But think about it….the robots might be pre-programed already to be slightly unpredictable…u noe…for the spark in the relationship.
well if people can use dildos and blow up dolls, i dont see how its too far off. these extremely “shy” people or maybe some would consider “sick” people wouldnt have a problem. in the end, everything taboo becomes justified as long as there is someone to say its ok. or as it gets popular.i guess if you wanted to go even deeper, most people are like robots on an emotional level. its become routine enough to feign love and affection and whatever anyway, but ive gotta get off my soap box.. good postren
How can a society be so perverse that sexual or emotional relations with a robot sounds attractive? People feel, we have emotions, and we think with intelligence that can only be simulated. How could a life with a being that has no emotions or opinions be favorable?
I agree with your opinion
this is hilarious– you should consider writing professionally.
ilena holder— Rose Garden by Awe-Struck ebooks 10.17.07
scary… reminds me of that anime chobits, the main character falls in love with his robot (who btw looks like she’s 12)
all robot advancement scares the s*** out of me. labour robot advancement will put people out of jobs, and the “lover” robot idea is just ridiculous. people need to work to have human relationships and function in society, and have jobs. if we keep trying to make robots like this, we are negating all the future purpose in life for people, replacing ourselves with robots. if you have a robot to clean for you, work for you, make love to/for you…what will be the point of your life anymore? i mean come on people. robot advancement like this seems more like a signal of the apocalypse than progress. : -amy
LOL, this is just funny.
Blade Runner meets Deep Throat, huh.
I don’t like your robot-slave idea probably as much as you don’t like Mr. Netherlands’ robot-lover. What happens in every movie with robots? They take over! I don’t need a bunch of your hunky, gorgeous, man-bot slaves running around trying to put me in my place!
I’ll stick to microwave and toasters, thank you very much!
i found this very funny and enjoyable to read. you forgot the topic of sexually transmitted diseases. would they be on the decline if people had robot lovers? what about the prostitutes? they would eventually be out of jobs if people could just buy a lover. the job market right now is not good. we must save as many jobs as we can. say no to robot lovers and yes to prostitues.
The hookers union would never permit this.
The Japs are well on their way with the form they will take. Called “realdolls” they are the lates sex toy for lonely boys. Quite “lifelike in a waxen corpse sort of Madame Tuussauds sort of way. No conversaton but then, that is not what they are for at this juncture in history.
love ur post. i wouldnt mind havin attractive slave robots that cooked and cleaned for me. that would be freakin awesome!
haha – the fat jeans comment – haha
I want a male robot slave too! The guy in the Netherlands is a tad bit slow though, we already have somewhat life like robots that look like humans, made by the Japanese of corse. It would be pointless to be in a relationship with a robot because they can never feel emotions and whatnot. Conversation with a robot won’t be entirely limited because they should have artificial intelligence, meaning they will learn as they go, like humans. Here is some links to life like robots, I still get freaked out just thinking about it. They breathe air and they are going to start walking soon. Scary huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBG9O2jJgMQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCR2PFrLkwA
If they will make the robots I am thinking of…why not? The price will be only for the rich though.
there’s a short film about cyborgs that were rented and easily replaced as lovers.
I think if we (guys) are with a woman long enough, we become very close to being robots.
I don’t know about that guy’s prediction… falling in love with and marrying? I can see how if some guy is just so desperate and out-of-luck and a lover-robot is his only way to get any, but to actually fall in love with something that has no emotions of its own… I’ll pass too.
hahahaha what a great funny post. enjoyed it very much. i think they already have few realistic robots in japan, well prototypes…
amusing dialouge btwn robot/human lovers. =p
but you’re right, as crazy as it sounds, our society is indeed in a
state of reaching so far for affection that we wold settle for
artificial “love.”
“iPod, i heart you dearly!”
there’s a science fiction novella called ‘Helen O’Loy’ (play on words of helen of alloy, like helen of troy but made of metal) about a man who creates a female robot that is so lifelife that no one would ever be able to tell it wasn’t a human being- and try as he might, he can’t help but fall in love with it. I’m not saying that I would ever be able to fall in love with a robot, because I don’t think I could, but the whole point of talking about this is to raise the question- why not? How are humans more than just mechanical beings, what makes us any different from a machine- the fact that we are made of carbon and not silicon? Aren’t we “programmed” by what we learn and perceive throughout our lives? Don’t we “compute” or “analyze” or “calculate” by thinking? There are much deeper questions tied to loving robots than ‘ew people being attracted to an inanimate object is perverse.’
“I’m more turned off by the human that would have to resort to artificial intelligence for affection: the online-video game obsessed, socially-inept, Jabba-the-Huts[sic] who know everything there is to know about elves and orcs but couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag.” It’s great being reduced to a stereotype, at least there are a couple people like me on earth to love the people described in said quote.
interesting view. Ever seen chobits? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chobits Its all about love, humanoid robots, and things that happen when they interact with humans. In this case the robots can function both as companions and “labor-robots” If you wanted your robot to think independently, I’m sure the AI settings could be changed so you dont wind up with a yes-robot.
The whole idea just creeps me out.
i would program my robot to answer only with animal noises.me: honey, why is there war?robot gf: mooooooooooooooooooooo
The mechanics of the whole deal is where I am having to draw the line
robots shoot electric jizz son
ha that’s the idea in this anime called ‘Chobits’
but hey, if it feels like a human, thinks like a human, and fucks like a human…well close enough right?