I was at the mall yesterday, wandering around aimlessly and minding my own business, when I noticed this weird girl following me. At first I assumed she was just a typical female shopper when I saw her at both Sanrio and Victoria’s Secret—but just to make sure, I decided to test her by going into that store that sells those “Warhammer” or whatever-the-hell-they’re-called pieces, and is only patronized by boys with bad eyesight.
And guess what? She followed me in. Girl + No Glasses = Confirmation that she was a weirdo with terrible ninja skills. And she knew she had been exposed, which was probably why she started talking to me.
WEIRD GIRL: Hey, umm…I know this is really weird but…do you happen to have a blog?
ME: I’m not into girls—wait, what? I mean, yes, I do have a blog.
WEIRD GIRL: On Xanga?
ME: Yes.
WEIRD GIRL: Oh! I knew you looked familiar! I read your blog all the time! It’s great!
I suddenly felt like such an ass. She wasn’t a creepy stalker! She was just a fan who had been chasing me through the mall! Me! She recognized me! From my blog! I had just been recognized!
This whole thing made me flashback to my Xangalebrity post: could it actually be coming true? Was this the reason why I stepped in the pile of poop one of my cats had strategically laid by the bathroom so that I would get doodoo feet when I was taking a midnight piss? (Cat poop, dog poop, they are basically the same.)
ME: …Really?
WEIRD GIRL: Yeah! You’re [person whose username is not Absolutangel64], right?
Have you ever had a WTF moment where you wanted to kick someone’s face in, but you couldn’t decide if it should be yours or the other person’s? Well this was my moment.
By the way: I looked this Xangan up when I got home. Weird Girl got me confused with another Asian blogger—who looks nothing like me, but I wouldn’t call her ugly because I was mistaken for her, and therefore to call her ugly would mean I am calling myself ugly. And I am not going to do that!
ME: Umm…
WEIRD GIRL: I love all the homeopathic remedies you suggest. I actually tried Mercurius Vivus the other day. It really helped.
ME: I’m sorry?
WEIRD GIRL: Oh, you know…*whispers* it’s for pee that burns and kind of hurts.
Here is my question: what do you think I should have done at this point? I’ll tell you what happened, but I’m just curious because I think my response was kind of bland and lame.
absolutangel64 
Totally play along and hear her out. Make like it’s definately you she’s thinking of.You corrected her, didn’t you?
go along with it suggest a homeopathic remedy that doesn’t exist…and see if she follows iti dont know one, but like rubbing poo all over your face…
WOW………I probably would’ve started laughing.
haahhaahahhahaahah.NO FREAKIN WAY.If someone ever noticed me, they’d know it was me. What other brown xangalebrities are there?*recommend*
lolbtw, I’m loving the new picture
I’m with Infamous Dewey.
That’s why my profile pic is a pic of the Monkees. I wouldn’t want that happening to me. lol
How about this: Weird Girl: Yeah, it’s for the pee that burns…blah blah blah…You: OMG!!! You used Mercurius Vivus?! You’ve got to go home, right now, drink a glass of low-fat milk, and lay down with your head facing south for at least 6 hours!!! No, drop your purchases…there’s no time…just go!!
i feel your pain on the comparison! someone once said i looked like a mutual friend’s husband. he’s ugly tho (we both shave our heads). if i acted offended… would that have been insulting to the ugly husband?re: the girl, i would have just played along… and then blogged about it, just like you did.
Wow, that is so awkward. I’ve seen people I’d only met on xanga before in real life. I avoided the above situation and just went on my way.
HA! that is some coincidence… I mean that you actually DO have a xanga did you catch her name? Maybe she is subbed to you too… I don’t know what I would he done… definetily blogged about it. lol Thanks for sharing.
hahaha, I don’t know, did you just inform her of her error?
Wow, there’s a good reason to not post one’s photo online. I’d never thought of this possibility! If this happened to me, I would’ve just said, “Oh no, that wasn’t me,” because I wouldn’t want anyone to think I blog about burning pee.
ummmmmmmmmmI’m sorry, this is funny.
i really wouldn’t know what to do if someone come up to me in the mall and was like, “you’re fog of confusion, i recognized you from your profile pic.” i think i would be offended or something.
you should have given her your autograph and signed it… uhh, i dunno. what?
And THIS is why I don’t show my face on my blog. I could be at an interview lunch with prospective employers or something, and someone could walk by and say “hey, aren’t you squeakysoul”? Boy howdy would that be red-faced fast explanation time. If I were you I think the thing to do would be to play along, although I bet you corrected her, which is what I would have totally done as well.@theblackspiderman – lol.
LOL. That’s hilarious. I would have started crackin’ up and just don’t her – maybe not exciting, but I don’t think i could just keep on playing it off after the mention of anything dealing with pee.
Did you WTF outloud? That’d be hilarious.Unless you were nice not to embarrass the weird girl by saying something along the lines of: “Oh, no, sorry, you got the wrong girl.”Come to think of it, that’d still be embarrassing on her part. And actually, I kind of hope you laughed.
haha i’m waiting to hear what you DID do.
Wow…::shakes head::
creepy, that girl would have freaked me out. I would say she is a stalker, but then again she did recognize you from xanga–what was she supposed to do. I dunno what i would have done, i think ida been like “you must be mistaken,,” I dont like to lie.
Wow. Awkward conversation. I would’ve stuttered and stammered probably, but you’re smarter than that, right?
lol aw that sucks.. I would have just told her she had the wrong person. which does sound kinda lame but she didnt know..
ROTFL i don’t even know how to reply except to laugh!!
You’re alive!I would have just gone along with it, but if you wanted to be really mean, you could said to her, in a really loud voice so the whole store could hear it, “WHAT? YOU’VE GOT A URINARY TRACT INFECTION?”
haha wow…I probably would have let her schpeal and then told her “…I have no idea what you’re talking about. You definitely have the wrong person” because it would be way more embarrassing for her than it would be for you…after all, she just admitted to having pee that burns. In addition, she’s still following people she doesn’t know around the mall… CREEPER!
wow….sucks! Too bad she didn’t recognize you for you >,<And it would be awesome to meet some people whose blogs I read regularly on xanga in real life. How different would they be in person, I wonder….?
haha
Toss your shopping bag over her head and knock her head hard. Then bring her home and duct-tape her in front of the computer with her eyelids peeled open so that she can read YOUR blogs rather than the clap-remedy lady.
You took the high road and didn’t kick her face in. Instead, you gave a home remedy that might land her in the hospital, or at least bring back that burning sensation when she pees.
Hahahaha. I saw this girl I knew from Xanga once at the mall, but she walked by and I couldn’t figure out where I knew her from. By the time I realized who she was, she was gone!
I would have told the girl that Azol with cranberry extract would be a quick fix to that burning sensation until she could get to the doctor. Another quick fix – drink a 8 to 10 ounce glass of water mixed with baking soda. That lowers the pH of your body and makes it hard for bacteria to survive thus reducing that burn.Also… creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy that she was stalking you around the mall. A trip to the golf clubs section at the sporting goods store might have been a possible ending for me. Or maybe to the Cinnabon. Heh, it’s like the old Goosebumps books where you choose your own ending. ^_~
play it out no doubt. that’s the spice of life.
hands down, the best line in this post was:”Girl + No Glasses = Confirmation that she was a weirdo with terrible ninja skills.”hahahaha. i know i’ve said this before, but you are just as brilliant as you are lovely. this post makes me wonder what i would do i ever were to encounter YOU in public. to be completely honest, i’d probably not recognize you. i’m really bad with names and faces. but if i did recognize you, i would also follow you around in true stalker-like fashion. weird girl has no game. i, however, am the definitive ninja. i would hide in the middle of clothing racks just like i did when i was a kid. victoria’s secret would prove to be tricky. i’d have to watch you from afar, preferably the store directly across from the VS. then, when i could finally muster up the courage to approach you in all your xangalebrity glory, i’d probably say something suave and smooth, like: “excuse me, but i’ve been following you around all day. are you alone, by any chance? i’d really like to hang out, just the two of us, and feed you food while i listen to you talk for hours.” really, i have no idea why i’m still single. sigh. you’ve got wit and a sense of humor i dig. i bet you also naturally smell like cucumber melon or something equally delicious. girls like you are the end of me.but, as it were, i am still wishing you luck in all your endeavors. keep writing. take care.
i probably would have been caught off-guard at first, but my strange sense of humor would get the better of me and convince me to play along with the story for as long as i could…especially if the girl had terrible ninja skills (a real embarrassment to true ninjas like myself, to be sure).but anyway, that’s just me — what’d you say to her? can’t wait for part 2.
ROFL. Well, what did you do?I would’ve corrected her.
LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOLMAOOH this cracked me up so hard!! ^_^ Um.. i dunno i wouldve probably just HUH!? WTF? sorry i’m pretty sure you got the wrong xanga girl..LOL~* but good luck on that painful peeing!! then continued to laugh my ass off..THEEHHE
Grimace then straighten up. Grab random object from the nearest display table/rack/counter in the shop, and hand it to her. ‘Buy this, it helps a lot.’ Then walk away.
you should have punched her in the vagina.. her itchy, burny vagina.lol.. that’s hilarious btw.. both your post and what i just said.okay fine more you.
I hope weird girl finds your post, that would be ironically funny.I found myself in the same situation many times in the past, it catches you off guard
Haha that’s so hilarious!i’ll probably refer her to somewhere else like the optician!
That is so far beyond awesome, words cannot describe it. I would’ve told her my real username, just to make sure she’d eventually end up on my page. Totally ironic, though.
BRILLIANT!
this is where you excute: “DROP KICK OF PAIN!”
asked just exactly what causes the burning pee, eh?
LMAO, play along!
I would of just went with it, see what happened. Then correct her as we parted ways.
I would have said, “sweetheart, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Perhaps you have me mistaken with someone?”
ahha thats just too much information, but i’d deff play along and then at the end tell her its not you and walk away leaving her embarrassed!