I was at the mall yesterday, wandering around aimlessly and minding my own business, when I noticed this weird girl following me. At first I assumed she was just a typical female shopper when I saw her at both Sanrio and Victoria’s Secret—but just to make sure, I decided to test her by going into that store that sells those “Warhammer” or whatever-the-hell-they’re-called pieces, and is only patronized by boys with bad eyesight.
And guess what? She followed me in. Girl + No Glasses = Confirmation that she was a weirdo with terrible ninja skills. And she knew she had been exposed, which was probably why she started talking to me.
WEIRD GIRL: Hey, umm…I know this is really weird but…do you happen to have a blog?
ME: I’m not into girls—wait, what? I mean, yes, I do have a blog.
WEIRD GIRL: On Xanga?
ME: Yes.
WEIRD GIRL: Oh! I knew you looked familiar! I read your blog all the time! It’s great!
I suddenly felt like such an ass. She wasn’t a creepy stalker! She was just a fan who had been chasing me through the mall! Me! She recognized me! From my blog! I had just been recognized!
This whole thing made me flashback to my Xangalebrity post: could it actually be coming true? Was this the reason why I stepped in the pile of poop one of my cats had strategically laid by the bathroom so that I would get doodoo feet when I was taking a midnight piss? (Cat poop, dog poop, they are basically the same.)
ME: …Really?
WEIRD GIRL: Yeah! You’re [person whose username is not Absolutangel64], right?
Have you ever had a WTF moment where you wanted to kick someone’s face in, but you couldn’t decide if it should be yours or the other person’s? Well this was my moment.
By the way: I looked this Xangan up when I got home. Weird Girl got me confused with another Asian blogger—who looks nothing like me, but I wouldn’t call her ugly because I was mistaken for her, and therefore to call her ugly would mean I am calling myself ugly. And I am not going to do that!
ME: Umm…
WEIRD GIRL: I love all the homeopathic remedies you suggest. I actually tried Mercurius Vivus the other day. It really helped.
ME: I’m sorry?
WEIRD GIRL: Oh, you know…*whispers* it’s for pee that burns and kind of hurts.
Here is my question: what do you think I should have done at this point? I’ll tell you what happened, but I’m just curious because I think my response was kind of bland and lame.
absolutangel64 
Oh play along. She took a brave move by finally approaching you. It would be even more embarassing if you weren’t who she thought you were.
Hee! And probably what you did, since that poor girl would have been mortified!
LMOA. It makes me think of the no-longer-countable times that someone has said you look so much like this other Asian friend we have. Well let’s see… black hair, brown eyes, kind small frame… yeah all Asian girls do look alike.
That’s hilarious.But what’s wrong with nerdy gaming stores? I love them… /cry
(O.o) …. at that point, you should have whispered back “Glad the remedy worked … and by the way, I am not [person whose username is not Absolutangel64].” then just walk away.Oh and btw, are you implying Warhammer and guys with poor eyesight are not cool and should be the target of the general population’s contempt? Because I love Warhammer and I have bad eyesight *wer-wer*.
LMAO, I would have completely pretended to be the other person. Hahaha. But you would have *had* to know that she wouldn’t have known it was absolutangel64 – didn’t you say a couple posts back that your profile pic wasn’t of you? If you haven’t revealed your true self to xangans, how the heck can we stalk you?
LOL Wow, that encounter turned from flattering to slightly emberassing quickly! Reminds me of something in Extras. ^^
haha omg! It’s okay. That sucks to be called someone else but I guess that’s life for you 🙂
What’re the odds of mistaken identity?
haha i would’ve been like ohmm no u got the wrong person and walk away.
What a lucky girl, mistake or no mistake. I, for one, would not stalk you… but courageously, walk up to you and ask for an autograph. … And then linger around like a creep.I surely hope you will post up a response you wish you had given along with your actual response.girl: “… pee that burns….”you: “Yeah, about that… tsss… ahh… mmm =/”and when she grows concerned, just tell her, “Nevermind, but you’re doing okay now, right?”
creepy yet hilarious…can’t wait for part 2
Too funny! I think Mama Jess’s response is pretty darn good……
this is funny lol
I would run away and run away fast…
I would have tried my best to play along, but I don’t know if I could keep a straight face. So I probably would have laughed!
LOL. i love your response. “i’m not into girls”. if i were your shoes, i would have probably just played it off and at the last minute, tell her that i’m not “insert user name here”, the other asian blogger girl. asians do not all look the same. -_-
HAHAHAHA that story was awesome. So close, so close.Hmm, if I had guts (which I don’t, but I suspect you do), I would roll with it, but instead of being nice I would creep her out or act like a jerk, so that she would stop reading “your” blog (or better yet, decorate “your” blog with heinous comments). Then look up her (and all the other xangans who read “your” blog) through your true screenname and add her as a friend to gain another reader.
it is quite interesting!
i would have waited to hear the rest of her story and then told her that i’m not the person she was thinking about. Then I would have let her know that I’m glad her pee problem got fixed, lol. Is that bad?
would of tould her she had the worng person
hi l am new at this and l am say hi
I probably would’ve done the same thing as you. And then posted the whole thing somewhere where she’d see it to show her how wrong she was. I bet she’s going to feel stupid if she sees this!!!!!
Well that’s just special. I think I would have burst into tears.
aha…that freaky…I would have told her that I dont have a blog….and be like um…”wat u talking about?” lolz
LOL wow
Hahaha that is priceless.I really don’t know what I would have done. Very funny though, and very awkward I bet too!
my response–“burning pee is 100% natural unless you’re pissing out flames. i have to go home and blog about you know and by the way i’m not who you think i am. have a wonderful evening.”weird girl– stares blankly and confused then starts following someone else who she thinks was in a movie….
Oh, I didn’t realize that *was* you! I thought you’d said that that wasn’t you earlier… but maybe I’m going crazy, lol.
haha that’s funny, but awkward
LOL…wow.
Dear God,When will my life turn into this?Love, MeP.S. I think that you played along, either to be really nice and polite or to have a good laugh.
this is great in all its hilarity
haha.
LOL!!!!!!!
funny story.i read your very old post concerning ehren watada (for the record, i think he’s a pussy too). i’m curious if you still harbor the same notions about what constitutes patriotism.
when you write “i stand by my definition of patriotism”…that is precisely the harboring of notions that i am referring to. that the concept of patriotism is a nebulous and subjective ideal is irrelevant…as i am inquiring to your particular brand of patriotism in reference to military service. to clarify, i am curious as to whether your view has changed since 2006…a lot of new information has surfaced since then regarding the various circumstances surrounding the iraq war. now don’t get me wrong, i don’t disagree with your opinion about watada (you made your bed, now you fuck in it…that’s what i have to say about that)…i am just curious if you still believe sending soldiers there is about “(fighting) for their families, for their friends, for their children”.by the way, i love the random ms paint drawings. you are consummate xangarian lol.
in my opinion, i think watching professional sports is akin to having sex with a prostitute…err…not that i have any firsthand knowledge of that…of course…haha. just a bunch of overpaid people halfassing around lol. now college sports…that’s a different story! the championship game of the NCAA basketball tournament was impressive. i much prefer watching collegiate athletics on the rare occasion i do watch sports. unfortunately, my alma mater keeps breaking my heart. i’ve been hurt so much over the years…i can’t take it anymore. *snuffles* lol.
Like I always say, there’s never a wrong time for a roundhouse kick in the face. But seriously…whatever you did, you should have made one heckuva scene, if only for the potential blogging material it might afford!
Sorry for the delay in responding but I had double duty rowing on the Roman Slaveship, er, I mean working OT at my corporate gig. Then I had to use my own stealthy techniques to evade your ninja kittens lying in wait for me…Speaking of cats, I’m a bit confused as to why you were set up to step in their poo calling card. I mean, that’s one of the neat thing about cats- they use the litter box. Could this mean there’s dissension among the ranks and this is the first salvo in a potential coup? I have to say your would be fan’s ninja skills were terribly lacking- following you into and out of stores indeed! Hmph….how level one! Actually that’s below level one- she should have at least hung around a few stores away and waited until you exited each store before continuing to track you. I myself prefer to casually bump into a person, and attach a mini GPS locater on them- then I can track at my leisure.It’s understandable why she would be in awe of you if she felt you cured her. I remember a tale where a boy pulled a thorn out of a lions foot and the lion was eternally grateful. How much more so would we be if someone rescued us from the pain of burning piss that can eat away at our very psyche?Now as to how to respond, you could have gone TV style in which I’m sure you could have launched a number of witty retorts such as:1) Glad it helped! That will be $100. You heard of shareware? Well this is share cure…now where’s the doh-rae-me?2) Oh no, you’ve confused me with my twin sister who looks nothing like me. She’s eccentric and has a bad habit of posting food recipes from our grandmothers cook book as cures. Um,…glad it helped, but it also makes a great seasoning for pot roast!Of course unlike “TV style” you’d eventually have to admit you were kidding and shoo her off to find her real xanga stalkee.BTW, who is this other xangan she referred to that she thought looked like you? Post the link so we can see and compare/contrast. Is she way off..or closer than you think?
OMG. You have the BEST LIFE EVER. I’m late reading this, and I’m hurrying over to the conclusion!
“Speaking of burning urine, I’m going to have to cut this conversation short…” And then run away.
there’s this one chick that EVERYONE swears looks like me. now, i’m not going to lie, i CAN see the resemblance… sort of… if i squint really hard… in the dark… after i’ve had a significant amount of alcohol in me. but, seriously, though…. DOES MY “TWIN” REALLY HAVE TO BE THAT CRUSTY-LOOKING!?? and if everyone and their moms are saying that we DO, indeed, look alike… what does that make ME? a crusty-looking bitch, too? …sigh.
“Oh, have you tried my eye of newt remedy?”
I think that is not unusual thing happened to you. I also had a chance of meeting a girl whose picture i had seen in Xanga but she was very matured and intelligent girl… This could be happened to anybody. Anyway thanks for sharing your experience with us.LedTechcho (php@ledtechco.com)http://ledtechco.com
haha, very nice
going along with it is always fun.
Rofl! =pRecognized…only to realize they think youre someone else. Hehe…I would just tell her she had wrong person.Thats hilarious though….err…*ahem* Sorry. 😉
hahahahaone word:brilliant.
@Peteismyhero –