Even though I’m a girl, there are some things girls do that I honestly do not understand–and it is seriously causing me to worry that I’ve got a penis hidden somewhere in my body. Can someone, anyone, explain these to me so that I don’t have to go through an identity crisis? Those are rather inconvenient, and I’d like to avoid wasting time on them if at all possible.
1. Toilet Seats
I know one of the biggest gripes we have about men has something to do with a toilet seat being left up, but I’m not quite sure what it is I’m supposed to be mad about. Is a toilet in stasis supposed to have the seat down? Is the threat of falling into the bowl greater than I imagined? Maybe I am too preoccupied with the need to rid my body of all that accumulated waste before it ends up in my pants, but I’ve never had a problem with how a toilet seat is positioned. If it’s up, I’ll put it down–or tip the seat down with my shoe if I’m in a public bathroom (wait…why would a toilet seat be up in a women’s bathroom though? Hmm…). Either way, it’s not an issue that requires much energy from anyone.
The only thing I can think of that would slightly irritate me is if the toilet seat was up and exposed a poo-poo rim–or, worse, seeing that the underpart of the seat itself had diarrhea splatter (which is why you should always do a thorough inspection after an anus explosion!). And then, since I’d only be slightly irritated and not in a furious rage, I’d ever-so-calmly seek out the culprit, grab him or her by the face, shove it into the doodoo stains, and demand that they clean that sh*t up…with their teeth.
2. Cuddling After Sex
Another thing I’m aware of girls getting mad over is when a guy doesn’t cuddle after sex because he’s sleeping. When a guy falls asleep after sex, I tend to feel relieved rather than resentful. The man deserves to rest after putting in all that energy and effort into giving me a memorable experience–okay, that’s not really why I don’t care. The truth is: so what if he is too tired to hold me in his arms? Those things are covered in sweat anyway! And so is the rest of his body! I already dislike being covered in my own sweat, so the last thing I want is for someone else’s sweat to be drying on my body. But that’s what would happen if there was after-sex cuddling, isn’t it? Cross contamination!
Besides, how else am I supposed to sneak away without making him feel like I just used him for his body? I mean, yes, my intention was to love-him-and-leave-him, but it would be rude to say that to his face. I do have a conscience, you know.
Insight, please!
absolutangel64 
I second the last one….especially after drunken sex.
It’s not a big effort putting the seat down.. But it pretty much sucks donkey balls when I go take a piss in the middle of the night only to half tumble into the toilet before catching myself. I am a smaller girl though, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for others. Still. A lot of guys suck at aiming and there’s dried on piss on the rim. Definitely don’t feel like sitting on that.As for cuddling after sex… Damn don’t you dirty people go wash off? That’s how you get UIs!
Dunno about the last one, but I do know about the first one. One time I was in a store, and had a bladderload to get rid of, I walked into the men’s bathroom and it looked like someone had stood in the doorway, pulled down their pants, and had an anal explosion that dotted every surface with brown flecks of reeking filth. I stepped back, used the women’s bathroom, no one was around, thankfully. Found an associate and calmly said, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CRAPPY BATHROOM LOOKS LIKE?!?” “What?” “CRAP, THATS WHAT!!!!!”