Back in March, one of my good friends sent me a message asking me, “is this you?” and included a link to a website. Worried about the possibility that nude photos of me had somehow ended up on the Internet—which could tarnish my reputation and threaten my nonexistent Xangalebrity status that only exists in my imagination—I clicked on the link and saw this:
Yes, that is my face—but it’s on someone else’s MySpace page! Someone named Rose! And since I am pretty sure I was not separated at birth from a slutty twin sister, Rose is a complete stranger who is using my picture as her own. In fact, all of Rose’s pictures are of me—and were taken directly from my Xanga site!
I know I am writing about this in May even though my friend had written to me back in March, but that’s because I couldn’t think about this MySpace page without becoming extremely pissed off. And when I am pissed off, I can’t write. My friends did try to placate my pissiness by telling me to look at the situation as a positive rather than a negative one. Having my photos used for someone else’s profile could be a sign that I have achieved a certain level of hotness. After all, no one steals pictures of ugly people—what’s the point of doing that when the person stealing it is usually ugly? He should just use his own picture, right?
And Rose has to be, like, the fugliest person on Earth. She couldn’t even use what I call the Hotness-By-Cropping technique. Hotness-By-Cropping is done when someone puts up a cropped picture of one of her body parts—e.g., her eyes, lips, abs, etc.—instead of posting a photo of her whole face. Some people do this as a way of maintaining anonymity, but come on now: that’s not the first thing that comes to anyone’s mind when he or she sees a Hotness-By-Cropping profile picture. We’re actually thinking, “This person must think her face is fugly.” And if you think you’re a fug, then you must be.
So this Rose person, being such a hot mess she couldn’t even use Hotness-By-Cropping, was complimenting me by stealing my photos and using them as her own on her MySpace profile. Whew! I feel so much better!
NOT! I’m nowhere close to feeling even remotely better because that isn’t enough of a “bright side” to outshine my pissed-offness. I don’t care that my pictures were misappropriated; my problem is that my face is associated with a profile created by a dumbass!
I mean, look at this sh*t!
People are going to look at my picture and think, “Damn, she can’t even spell “girls” correctly! That’s probably because her highest level of education is ‘some college’.” Noooo!
And the whole thing about “I’ll meet any freaks out there who wanna talk nasty” and “tell me everything you want me to do to you or that you want to do to me”—look at the guys who responded to this b*tch:
*Barf!*
absolutangel64 
well at least you’ve narrowed it down to a fugly xangan who has bad grammar 🙂
ahahahahhahahaYou have a right to be pissed.
Oh my. Did you report her to myspace? If it were me, I would.
What if this Rose is a dude? *shudders* Either way, it’s pretty pathetic.
some people just suck balls.
Wow. Oh my God wow.
seems like you have a fan
WTF? That is really messed up.
…at least they didn’t list you as a tranny?If they did, you would be considered the Cadillac of trannies.
oh hawt. proud parent!
Which is why I have myspace blocked at my router, and websites filtered by my content filter. Everytime I see MySpace it pisses me off. It represents everything that’s WRONG with humanity – the BS, the construction of false meaning, fake relationships, self-centric social circles, contrived ideologies – And the sickest part about it… people KNOW that and LOVE it.
That’s pretty twisted. Like your commentary on the page, though.
lOLOOLLL wow she must be a lonerface
Isn’t there some way you can report them for doing that?For some people, achieving a certain level of hotness is a good thing, regardless of being represented as an idiot. For the ones with common sense: go bitch his/her/it’s ass off. I think someone should post a link of this entry on that person’s wall. I’d love to see the comments on that.
what a freak. have you tried to message “rose”? i wonder if it’s someone you know.
Haha… nice deconstruction of the douches that responded to her profile. Someone created a profile using my pictures a couple of years back on Myspace and had put down the orientation “Gay.” Suffice it to say, I was not amused.
At least the preteen has a good sense in hot pics… not so much of the common kind, or in selecting online communities.
HAhahahaa. you are my idol? omg.
hahaha yea to have your pictures stolen is a form of flattery eventhough yea if I was a chick I’d be pissed too
Oh wow! That’s craptastic! LOL Man, the things some people do. But yeah, they obviously felt pretending to be you was hot.
Um, imitation is the highest form of flattery? Does that help you feel less pissy? But seriously, WTF. That person is pathetic.
That’s kind of scary but hilarious at the same time *shudders at the horrific grammatical errors*
you know, I have the EXACT SAME PROBLEM and I did EVERYTHING MYSPACE asked me to do so they can REMOVE the FAKE PROFILE and still they haven’t done SHI*T….
hi rose, I talk sexy to u..hit me back up if u freaky too!
That is classic, I can only hope to hit such levels of fame
bwahahaha! The bad grammar prob hurts you the most! Well, take heart in the fact that she’s prob a 300 lbs. wahine with cheese curdling under her belly pannus.
Ugh. The atrocious grammar alone would have pissed me off, too.
Rose is a guy!
O.M.G tht’s terrible! that girl is far worse than lame.
Wow I guess people will stoop that low to steal photos. You can actually report it to myspace, and then the page will be shut down.
You should friend Rose. (after you release some more fussiness)
Imitation is the best form of flattery…
That’s fucking scary. Goddamned internet. Something similar happened to my best friend, except it was her face on one of those ‘get laid tonight’ type adds you see sometimes on the sides of pages…
Whoa, sorry that happened to you. Did you report it MySpace or anything (as pointless as that probably is – no telling how many times this kind of shit happens). That’s got to be aggravating. The important thing is that all of us here at Xanga know the truth. Who cares what those MySpace losers think?
@nimbusthedragon – Holy crap, they used her in an ad??? Is it possible to sue for that? Or is it one of those stupid-ass internet rules where anything you post online becomes anyone’s property without permission?
what a creeper. but i have to say, this post has inspired me to do a “fugness by cropping” post. you can see it tomorrow. i’m gonna crop pictures to only feature the fugliest parts. as always, you inspire me to do great things… and apparently you inspire this rose dude too.
Popular!
Wow. I hope that person gets caught and takes your pics down!
would it make you feel better if the person stealing your pics was a genius that only wanted to talk about physics and philosophy? perhaps you pissed someone off and this was their payback. eitherway, good luck dealing with it.
Identity theft… Maybe you should set your Xanga account to private.
You have my sympathies and all, but this had me rolling.
Hahahahaha WOW.
@wherethefishlives – precisely. They were pictures from her super old plentyoffish account which she hadn’t touched in years… and the worst part is that they were not even close to being provocative images. She just tried the site a couple of times for the sake of trying out online dating, and BAM, her pic ends up on some porno advo… But worry not, she’s tough and bitched out the right people, and it was taken down, heh.
ryc: Wot? I thought you stay from Hawaii, eh? Wot kine local girl you, can only speak like one haole? I kid. I kid. I call myself “bilingual” since I can speak pidgin, and unfortunately it instinctively comes out when I am speaking to another pidgin speaker. But the more I lived away from Hawaii and went higher in the ranks of academia, I realized how stupid and useless a language it is in the 21st century and how sad it is that many local kids are sentenced to service jobs like The Rock in his SNL skit (nothing wrong with that, unless you have the potential to do more) because they are incapable of speaking standard English. Pidgin served its purpose in the plantation days, but now it has no reason to exist anymore…like hood rat hoochie mama booty shorts on 40-yr-old women. Thanks for nothing, public school teachers!
dang that sucks. strange people in the world who’d even want to do that
So what can be done about it?
omfg hilarious!
I was impressed with the use of the semicolon, it’s a lost art I think.
Stealing youre ID is not funny. You can never know you might be seen by someone that has seen youre pics and chated with her an wount to follow you home.
haha no wonder she has no friends:Dshes a dumb fugly slutt!:Dfeel sorry for the kid:D