I know a guy who recently moved in with a female friend he has known for about 10 years. They are simply roommates sharing an apartment…oh, and they occasionally have sex. But don’t get the wrong idea: they both insist they are still “only friends” despite this arrangement. They are both free to date other people—and the guy does, but must later deal with his roommate’s jealous tirades. And they both lead separate lives, such as hanging out with their own friends—except the girl calls and sends text messages to the guy, demanding to know where he is and whether there are any vaginas near him. Normally, this girl would be considered a possessive girlfriend, but that definitely isn’t the case here because she and this guy are only roommates, and not boyfriend/girlfriend. At most, they are just “friends-with-benefits.”
*Sniff* *Sniff*…what’s that stanky smell? I think it’s Eau de Dumbass.
This guy’s situation just reinforces my belief that there is no such thing as being strictly friends with someone you have sex with. None. And this is true regardless of whether you call it “friends-with-benefits,” “friends-that-f*ck,” or whatever. Someone is going to develop feelings for their booty-call buddy and once that happens, it is no longer no-strings-attached sex. You are entering relationship territory—which, ironically, was very thing you hoped to avoid when you set up the arrangement in the first place. Sucks to be you!
It’s hard for me to sympathize with anyone who enters into a friends-with-benefits agreement and ends up in a “real relationship” he never wanted. In fact, I find their misfortune very, very funny. These people all wanted to get laid without compromising their singleness or paying for prostitutes, and came up with the brilliant idea that sleeping with their friends was the best solution. I guess these geniuses somehow forgot that “friendship” is the step immediately below “relationship.”
But is it really a surprise that being in a friends-with-benefits situation has the potential to turn into a romantic relationship? All of us are friends with people we like, but admit it: there is at least one you’d consider being romantically involved with. That person just happens to have more of the qualities you’d like in a boyfriend or girlfriend; and being able to see yourself dating that person—however remote the possibility—kind of makes your friendship a little more than “just friends.”
As for the friends you would not get romantically involved with—well, you’re simply not attracted to them. Doesn’t mean you value their friendship any less…they just aren’t your type. I have a number of guy friends I genuinely like, but the thought of getting freaky with any of them turns my vagina into the Gobi Desert—as in, go be nasty with someone else.
And if that is not enough to convince you, then this will: friends-with-benefits? Friends-that-f*ck? Girlfriends and boyfriends? It’s not a coincidence that they all have the word “friend” in them. That alone should be enough to scare you.
Of course, you may disagree if you know from experience that there is such thing as an emotionless friends-with-benefits friendship, but you’re obviously only saying that because you weren’t the one who developed romantic feelings. That, or your friends-with-benefits friendship was something like this:
Now there’s a friends-with-benefits relationship I condone!
absolutangel64 
I think ” Eau de Dumbass” is probably my new favorite expression.
i’m FWB with my ex. i’m sure that’s an even worse arrangement. but we don’t actually have the jealousy thing, so maybe not. but man oh man would i give it to that hamburger good… he would eventually even get in my ass harharhar
@nimbusthedragon - I will second that…
haha i totally agree. such a stupid arrangement.
This post gave me a good chuckle. I don’t understand why people get involved in the whole “friends with benefits” deal. It just *sounds* like a bad idea. Sucks to be them, indeed!
I thought a FWB situation would work for me and my soon-to-be-ex husband but we’ve just decided to not have sex or have physical contact until I can move next year. He works nights so I don’t have to worry about the sharing a bed thing, but the temptation is still there, I usually just take a shower or exercise and then I’m all better.
aaaaaamen!
i think it depends on the person, but this situation ferrsure i see eye to eye with you on.
I use to have a FWB, but I classified it more as a Fling instead, but she didn’t.
ahaha. I love the last picture. Hmm, I actually don’t have any friends that are in “friends-with-benifits” relationships.
It is a very odd situation where there’s no emotional attachment on either side…super rare.mmm…I do promote the loving of burgers, always.
that last picture… priceless
As I scrolled down, I thought this was the day I’d finally see your stick-figures having sex.
You crack me up. The last comic, especially.
you hit it, haha
Youre right, it rarely works.I ALMOST went there, had a friend which turned into a few sexual encounters (no intercourse though), luckily i decided i wasnt that kind of girl before it was too late and i ended up feeling like a skag. I asked him if he wanted anything more out of me than sex and he said no so i said i didnt want it anymore. I’m glad i was honest with him and myself. And now i do have sex with my best friend, i tell ya; its better to wait for real love
yours is the voice of reason that many people need to hear. so i’m rec-ing this!
Yeah people need to learn that pushing the “depend on me” buttons doesn’t promote keeping of the distance.
Hehe. Love the cartoons.
you might see it coming out the other end….lol…sorry for being gross
Who would’ve thought an idea as simple as this could add so much more complexity to life?
Ugh. Friends-with-benefits are ridiculous. I don’t even want to get into it.
lol seriously! 🙂 i like the post and the comics
This post is funny,but friend with benefits is not good.
Wow, what a living situation! Why would anyone want to put themselves in that position. Geez!
Yes. That is the dumbest thing ever. You live under the same roof… you fuck. Come on. Someone is going to get hurt. It’s common sense.
I think you mean to say that the “Female” develops feelings
Hahaha… awesome post. I’d have to agree that friends with benefits situations rarely work, if ever. It would take two very very unique individuals to make something like that work and 99% of people aren’t those two people. I’m all for Friends With Burger relationships.
agreed.
friends with benefits always makes things so much more complicated and you’re right someone ALWAYS ends up having feelings for the other person. it’s just a setup to eventually get hurt and possibly lose a really good friend.
*sigh* Idiota… You speak the truth. “And when you’re done, you’ll never have to see me again.” HAHA Love the burger.
Yea seriously, I’m not exactly sure how people manage to do FWB time and time again and still not feel anything. Either way, as you said, someone usually gets burned. On the other end of the spectrum though, some people get into relationships simply so that they can justify sex.. that is just as bad as FWB. I love your cartoons. 🙂
Gobi desert… hahaha! I don’t believe in FWB, exactly because of what you’ve written.
Great post, I am glad I stumbled by.
actually you may smell your bff a little bit later…
back in the day, those kinds of friendships were called marriage.
the reference to ” turing to the Gobi Desert” – hilarious. of couse as usual funny ass comicsI’m more inclined to use the term f*ck buddies.
the best of friends are those you can spit out anytime, but that hamburger will surely be swallowed completelyagree with you all the way
definitely a bad idea. be satisfied with a juicy hamburger that’s gone after the deed is done.WISDOM!
It will be a sad, sad day when you run out of things to be pissed off about. Love the tirades!
Haha so true. I love the way you bring your thoughts together and make your witty cartoons to emphasise a point. So cleaver and fun to read.
friends with benifits? F***!
That kind of situation sounds like a dream, but is actually a sexist pig’s nightmare. I laugh at how naive I was in believing that moving in with one of my friends would result in free sex, breakfast in bed, and a human footres that I could rely on to be there when I needed it.